I can Summon anything from toasters to AR-15s.

chapter 3: first quest

The early morning sun cast long shadows across the dusty road leading out of the capital. Ramset, her fiery hair pulled back in a tight pigtail, stomped along the path, her polished armor glinting with an almost offensive cheerfulness. Beside her, her companions, Kyle, the young man with the rapier, and Tanya, the elf with the round glasses, scurried along, their faces etched with a mixture of nervousness and what could only be described as comedic terror.

Ramset's usually haughty demeanor had morphed into a storm cloud. Her voice, usually laced with affected sweetness, now crackled with annoyance.

"Can you believe the nerve of Leela?" she fumed, her voice carrying over the quiet chirping of the morning birds. "Sticking me with another newbie! And after that little stunt that... that... what was his name again?"

Kyle, who seemed to have shrunk a couple of inches under Ramset's glare, stammered, "I-I believe it was Ivan, Lady Ramset."

"Right, Ivan!" Ramset exclaimed, her voice rising an octave. "As if babysitting one incompetent rookie wasn't enough, now I have to deal with two! Does Leela think I'm running some sort of daycare?"

Tanya, ever the pragmatist, piped up in a small voice, "Perhaps Leela simply thought another party member would be beneficial for the quest."

Ramset scoffed. "Beneficial? That weakling will probably slow us all down! And what good is a rapier against goblins anyway? They practically have to trip over their own clubs to get hurt by something that thin!"

Kyle, clutching his rapier a little tighter, mumbled something inaudible under his breath. Tanya, ever the diplomat, nudged him with her elbow, sending a silent message that seemed to say, "Don't poke the dragon."

Ramset continued her rant, oblivious to the silent communication between her companions. "Honestly, the audacity of that boy! How dare he mock me in front of everyone like that? 'We'll see how long your bravado lasts!' he said. Well, he'll see alright! By lunchtime tomorrow, he'll be begging for mercy, and I won't lift a finger to help him!"

Ramset huffed and puffed, her rant finally winding down as they approached the eastern gate of the capital. Guards in gleaming armor stood at attention, checking the credentials of those exiting the city.

Ramset, still fuming about Ivan, marched towards the gate, expecting to see him waiting—flustered and late, of course. But as she rounded the corner, her jaw nearly hit the cobblestones.

Parked just outside the gate, idling with a gentle rumble, was a sight that made Ramset rub her eyes in disbelief. It wasn't a horse-drawn carriage or a sleek adventurer's mount. It was a peculiar contraption, a boxy metal structure supported by four thick wheels with two small cabins at the front. Smoke puffed from a strange contraption protruding from the hood, and the entire thing vibrated with a low hum (a double cab Toyota).

And there, perched nonchalantly on the driver's side of the front cabin, sat Ivan. He looked up at them, a hint of a silly smirk playing on his lips, and gave a lazy wave.

Kyle and Tanya froze, their eyes wide with surprise. Ramset, however, stared open-mouthed for a moment, then spittered, her voice a strangled mix of disbelief and outrage.

"You have got to be kidding me," she finally choked out, pointing at the strange vehicle. "You expect us to ride in that... that... thing?" Her voice trailed off, unable to find the words to describe this bizarre contraption that defied everything she knew about transportation.

The sputtering of Ramset's outrage died down as Ivan, with a flourish that seemed out of place in this dusty setting, climbed out of the strange metal beast. He brushed off a nonexistent speck of dirt from his surprisingly clean clothes and bowed low, a playful glint in his eyes.