Save me | Dotae

zero.

Doyoung always thought he was raised in a perfect family where he was loved and provided. They weren't exactly rich, but enough to fulfill their needs.  He never ever felt the need to question the love his parents had for him until that one day in ninth grade. It  had been a year since then, yet he couldn't forget those words carved into his heart.

*flashback*

"Doyoung, come downstairs! We need to talk about something." called his mother.

Doyoung plugged his phone to charge once he heard his mom call him and replied with a yes loud enough to be heard by his mom and others if they were present. Although he doubted his father would be there.

He rushed downstairs and was met my his older brother Gongmyung, his mom and his father sitting their and their eyes glaring into him once he entered the hall.  All of them were seated on the sofa except his brother who was sitting on the chair which was by the sofa facing the television which was playing some random show no one paid attention to.

Getting all fidgety with anxiety, he stood there until his mom called out.

"Doie come sit here. Don't worry it's nothing serious and you are not in trouble." Sighing with relief, Doyoung situated himself  with his mom on the little space left. He looked at her with a small smile and said "I thought I was in trouble. So what's up?"

Asking that question was probably the worst mistake. He had unleashed the demons of his family sitting with him. Those words were out of concern, pity and care but that's not what it seemed like. Those words were underlined with venom. He does not know how it started or what made them bring it up so suddenly. He was so much in a daze, all he could figure out were some sentences.

"You are not just gaining weight but also becoming fat"

"No one will like you. No one will be friends with you"

"You will grow out from weird places which will make you ugly"

"Everyone will bully you and you won't be able to fit in clothes anymore"

He was frozen from the sentences that spilled out of his family's mouth. He could not breath. All he could think was how to get out of that situation and bury himself in a hole. All he could wish was to block out those hard words.

If those few sentences had such a tight grip on him, he could not imagine what else were they saying. What did they think of him behind his back? What did others think? What about his friends? Did they all think this way?

All he could do was nod as an response. Once he was allowed to leave, he rushed into his room's bathroom. He wasn't allowed to have a separate room from his brother so he had his own safe place-- the bathroom. He went inside and all he could do was sob. Resent each one of them and think about how everyone else might be disgusted and disappointed in him.

At the end, he passed out from crying so much.

*end of flashback*

It had been 2 years since then and Doyoung had lost weight. He had cut down on food. He ate so less it was unhealthy yet he did not stop. He was afraid of being that weight again and looking at his old photos did not help. Those words were carved in him and he could not be healed.

It was the first day at his school today. A new and fresh beginning. He wasn't looking forward to it though. He had realized that those words did not just affect his weight and looks but his mental wellbeing too. He was suffering from social anxiety. He never got it officially diagnosed but after some research he did and asking some of his friends who knew some professionals he was sure of it.

He was anxious that people won't like him and he would be all alone. They would judge him and bully him for his looks.

Taking a deep breath, he stepped out of his room with his bag and went to his dining table. He whispered and small good morning to his mom. He took a seat and the dining table and starting sipping his coffee. His breakfast wasn't really a breakfast but just a cup of coffee.

As he was sipping his coffee his mom spoke up. "Doie, honey atleast have one toast. That won't last you throughout the day". "Mom chill. I am not dying. I am full and it's more than enough for me" he replied. In all honesty he did not lie. Having to cut down in his food it affected his appetite and his capacity to eat food. Small unhealthy portions were now more than enough for him.

His mom sighed at his expected response and did not argue any further. It was soon the time to leave so he quickly stood up, putting his cup in the sink. He grabbed his bag, gave a quick hug to his mom and bid her bye. He rushed out of his house and started making his way to school.

As he was on his way, he was greeted by his only friend -- Kun. A Chinese transfer student who clicked with Doyoung as soon as the talked. Well more like Doyoung was forced to since he was assigned by the teacher to give him the tour of the school because according to him Doyoung should be socializing more and not just sit in a corner all day. Thankfully that turned out well because Kun and Doyoung were now inseparable. It had been 2 years since they met. Although Doyoung wasn't very fond of Kun when they first met, he got used to his company and eventually gave in. Kun being the patient and caring person he is, waited for Doyoung to give in and establish a friendship with him.

Doyoung greeted Kun and said "Yo Kun! You are late again" "You are late too actually. So let's shut up and run or we are getting our ass beat." They giggled and rushed to school.

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