All The Lies We Told Ourselves

24 - Two Lights In The Dark

Rue
*****
July 14th, Friday

I couldn't stand being pitied. The way people passed by me and let their gaze fall to the spot below my ribs, to the wound under my shirt that had by then become only a fading scar. The bullet had only grazed me there, like a warning, but all I felt from the stares was a searing shame of having failed there in that tunnel.

"It's nice to have you back, Rue." Amity said, in that familiar monotone way of hers, the only person at the meeting besides Reid whose welcome didn't feel like a huge pity party. I would have hugged her, had she been into that kind of stuff.
"What did I miss?"

Reid appeared from behind Amity. He had been somewhere at the back of the room, behind the crowd of people. I heard laughing and commotion and it sounded like they had been playing a game of darts. I was almost bummed that I hadn't arrived sooner. I could have earned a good few bucks for a winning streak, maybe even a couple beers.
"We're planning a coup." Reid said, and handed me an ale in a brown bottle. The fancy kind. I laughed, but Reid and Amity only looked at each other knowingly.
"Pay up." He said and Amity scowled, unearthing one of those flat pieces of chewing gum from her pocket, the kind covered in powder and wrapped in a silvery paper. The confusion must have been clear on my face. "I told you she wouldn't believe it."
I didn't have time to say much so I passed it off as one of Reids jokes.
"Oh, Fern wants to talk to you." He said, and tapped me on the shoulder, disappearing through the crowd of people towards the seats, Amity behind him.

Shit, I thought to myself and left the bottle under one of the benches, squeezing through the crowd to where Fern was slumped in her old armchair with the cup of coffee and the paper stacks covered in stains. In the candlelight she looked older, even though it had only been a month since I'd seen her.

"You must have heard." Fern said, eyes closed like she had sensed me appear. There was no pitying and no small talk. I could appreciate that. When she finally looked up at me, I nodded. So it was true, what Reid had said.
"Take a seat." She waved in the direction of the table and I pulled out one of the chairs, sitting in front of her. I rarely felt so small as I did in comparison to Fern. I feel as though most people did. Not only was she tall and similarly wide shouldered, she had an intimidating aura about her.
"I don't know the intricacies of your agreement with the president's daughter, Rue, but what you have with her is unlikely to pass us by any time in the near future."
Her eyes seared in on me, and scanned me up and down, as if evaluating what I was capable of. Unlike usual, her long graying hair was open and laid about her shoulders like that of some damsel in deep slumber. She looked tired.
"An overthrow is unlikely to succeed without inside connections, and you're our best link. I hope you understand." Her tone was commanding, and for that alone, I nodded.

Celestine would never agree to an overthrow, I knew that already. I wasn't going to convince her, and that filled me with worry. It meant I would fail again, in the eyes of the movement and in the eyes of myself, like I had done in that tunnel a month ago, stupidly enough.

As long as we had a group of affluent people like Celestine on our side, a coup wasn't entirely impossible. The movement had grown in the past few years, everyone had noticed that, and even more rapidly in the past months. We had more guns, more resources and better connections overall. The faction I belonged to was fairly selective, but the other ones were constantly accepting new members, all unhappy with the direction new Capitol policies were going in. Maybe we could do it, I had thought to myself many times. We could turn things around. There were more members in the movement now than there were guards in the Capitol. But it would take lives. And how could we control who it all affected?

As Fern continued telling me about the details of how the coup would come about, I didn't think I could help put it into action. Either I would tell Celestine the truth and risk exposing the plans, or lie. And I don't think I could lie to her.