strange way to love. bllk

I. from 1 to 3

Growing up in a traditional, close-minded household meant [Name] knew what was ahead of her from the very start: being ostracized for being a woman despite being the firstborn child. In a world where men often have the upper hand, the birth of a boy was of huge significance in her family. That is what gets her feeling displaced out of everything, everytime.

Her father was a politician; a cold, hard man and an expert in lying, who loved her younger brother more than anything else, though it was noticeable, he pretended like he loved both their children equally . On the other hand her mother worked as an executive for a huge electronics enterprise —or to put it simply, her family is pretty much wealthy. In addition, the [Last Name] biological tree from her dad's side mostly had these prominent, misogynistic ideas that women should not be allowed to participate in anything deemed 'not feminine', such as politics or economy-related jobs; outdated ideas improper for a modern-day Japan. However, her mother seemed to be an exemption to these (most likely for her status, not because they thought of her as a sentient, human being) . Her mother was a sweet woman, and knew the right moments to confort [Name] when needed, although it was not enough to suffice the notorious favoritism between the siblings, she wondered why someone like her would have ever wanted to marry someone like her father.

And sure she was thankful to her parents' sacrifice and appreciates what they provide her. But still, that bitter feeling of uselessness could not be erased. At least, not when every other male relative was praised for doing the bare minimum.

[Name] was 5 when a 'miracle' was born in the [Last Name] family and took the victory as the favorite child. He was introduced like a work of art, worthy of becoming the 8th Wonder of the World, earned the daring love and approval she had always wanted from the adults, most specifically their grandparents, who never paid any attention to her, even when she was a kindergartner, yet they were present in every one of the youngest's achievements . The couple in their late 70s or early 80s, who have lots of experience in life, often look down on younger people (excluding their beloved baby, who could no wrong in their eyes) under the "it's for your own good" which inherently ends up doing more harm than good; in other words they're your average conservative old people who cannot stand a youngster doing something that was taboo when they were young. The resentment from [Name] towards her younger brother grew side by side with him, it persisted through the moments she was to attend different after school activities; he, on the other hand didn't attend to any extracurricular because both her parents and grandparents glorified him like a greek god and thought that he was too young to expose him to that amount of pressure.

From chess to ballet, ice skating, violin, painting and football (the one activity she *actually* enjoyed the most), though her father rejected the idea of it, assuming that since it's a "boy's sport" She would end up injured and humiliated. And, that she should know better than to ridicule the family's name by losing.

Oh my God, how dare she —the eldest, overachiever daughter— dishonor her family name.

Start of Flashback 1, [Last Name] [Name], Age 10.

"Please, father, I'd like to play in a team. I promise I will win everything and I won't upset you, please, please, please" The little girl, on the verge of sobbing, begged almost down on her knees in front of her father so she could get permission to finally start playing in a girls' team. She was a hundred percent certain that she would not achieve it but her guardian had another plan.

"Sure," for this time I will let you, but if you even dare to come crying for help after losing a simple match you'll see what happens. Always remember your roots".

The day after, [Name] woke up extra early to start practicing for the imaginary tryouts in the spacious yard, because at the end of the day her father was gonna pave the way for her unsolicited so it meant it was less of a bother. Due to the fact that she had no goalposts because, well, she wasn't allowed to, placing two wide sticks on the grass with a distance of two or three meters (that was not the actual distance, [Name] just measured the distance using her feet until she found them at a reasonable separation), and some plastic bottles that she stole, simulating to be cones was enough. She did have an actual football though; courtesy of her mother as a reward for winning all the competitions in her school's sports day.