Glass

Chapter 6

I rapidly took the towel off my head and tried to hide my ears with my soaked hair. There wasn't a mirror in the room, so I had no idea if my ears were covered completely or not. I felt the thundering beats of my heart in my ears, and I knew if I could hear it then any vampire in the vicinity could as well.

"Sana, if you don't calm yourself down then you can have a panic attack." He pauses for a couple seconds before he continues. "Everything will be okay. You can talk to me if you want to."

I wanted to. I desperately wanted to confide in him. To spill all my secrets and have him hold me—like Dohwan and Hajoon would do. I felt so alone. I didn't have the comforting words of my friends to soothe and chase away my nightmares. I didn't have anyone, but them in my life now. I felt like I was climbing a mountain at a slow pace, while the seven of them were climbing after me, but at alarming speeds.

Catching up to me, and crawling into my heart—taking root there. I didn't know what to say—how to explain to any of these men that their kind hurt me. I didn't blame them or condemn them—thinking that they would do the same to me. I knew they were different. They didn't look at me like a fresh blood source, and I could tell my blood sang to them.

It was obvious. They were in a constant need to feed on Jin's blood filled pastries that I felt like their business could go under from all the products they were consuming. It scared me that I wouldn't mind any of their razor sharp canines piercing my skin. Just thinking about it felt sinful. I only felt pain with it before, but for some reason I felt like they would make it feel good.

But I shouldn't feel that way. They were all mates to each other, and even them drinking my blood would deem them unfaithful. I wanted to slap myself for even thinking about them that way. It made me feel as if I betrayed them. I know these are just thoughts though. I won't burn myself at the stake for just having them.

"Sana?" Hobi calls out to me—pulling me out of my inner ramblings. I need them—I need him. Gosh, I just needed somebody. Somebody to stroke my hair and whispers to me that it will all be okay. That I shouldn't be afraid. That my friends will come home safe. I wasn't thinking, but I should have. I opened the door that separates us and I grabbed his hand—pulling him into the room with me.

A soothing and calming feeling fell over me—silencing the horrible thoughts that I previously had. I trembled in his hold—nuzzling my face into his chest. I couldn't speak—especially when he asked me what was wrong. I clung to him as if my life depended on it. I could feel the hesitation in his movements.

He slowly brought his hands to my arms and rubbed them up until he was cupping my shoulders. When his palms glided over every bite mark I could feel the shuddering of his breathing. He gently pulled me away from his body as if I'd shatter if he'd move too fast.

He tilted my chin up until I was staring into his warm—brown swirls of his eyes. He didn't comment on my scars, but I know he wanted to. Mentally I was begging him to ask, so I can confide in him. His eyes shifted back and forth between mine—as if seeing if he could get all the answers to his questions through them.

My lip trembled in fear. The watering of my eyes showed him how truly scared I was. I hated vulnerability, but I was openly showing him how vulnerable I am. I felt like the walls I built around my heart were crumbling down—shaking like an earthquake with just his gentle touch.

Hobi looked like he was in a daze—bringing his right hand to cup my cheek. His thumb rubbed against the apple of it—chasing away my fallen tears. My breath hitched at the sensual movements. He was so gentle, so loving towards me. I was starved for affection, and Hobi was a five course meal. My shaking seemed to cease with his soothing touches.

It was feather light—as if I was a butterfly and he was scared he'd damage my wings. I closed my eyes and let my emotions consume me. He stroked my hair behind my left ear, and I tilted my head into his palm. His skin felt so smooth—so soft—so—right. Like his whole being was made for me. Made to sooth me. Made to calm me. Made to love me.

My eyes flew open as tears poured from them. I can't. I can't have him. He wasn't made for me. They were made for each other. What was I thinking? What am I doing? My eyes snapped up to his, and I froze as his fingertip grazed the tip of my ear. I pulled away from him as a sob slips passed my lips. I've made a mistake.

"Hey. Hey. It's okay. It's all going to be okay. I'm here." He coos at me—gently gripping my fingers—trying to tenderly place me back into his embrace. It was not okay, because I wanted to be pulled into his embrace and be lulled into a sense of calming. It was selfish of me. He had six mates, whom I also wished were mine.

I shouldn't have, but I let him pull me back into his arms. I couldn't fight him even if I wanted to. I felt a pull to him—to them all. This connection that I wanted to nurture and watch grow. A knock at the door startled me—causing me to jump. Hobi encircled his arms around my waist and pulled me closer in a soft hug. For a split second Hobi left me, and came back with a dry towel. He draped it around me—over my head and around my shoulders—concealing my arms and the sides of my head.

"You must have been cold, yeah?" He smiled down at me with tender eyes. A smile pulling up his heart shaped lips. I could only nod—afraid my previous crying would make my voice crack.

"Hobi Hyung? Sana? Everything okay?" Taehyung asks through the door. I opened my mouth to speak, but all that left my mouth was a strangled crack.

"Are you in pain?" Taehyung asks as he opens the door. I didn't know what to say or how to tell him how much pain I was truly in. Can he fix a broken heart? A scarred body? Can he chase my ghosts away? How about shielding me from my own mind?

"I should probably head home." I mumbled out—too afraid to speak louder—not wanting to truly leave them. To leave the calming feeling they both gave me with each touch.

"No." They both said at the same time. My eyes looked back and forth between them. Taehyung looked desperate—as if he didn't want to leave me as much as I didn't want to leave him. Hobi looked sad—frustrated—as if he was having an internal battle with himself.

"You'll come home with us." Hobi's resolve settles and it looks like he's made up his mind. His eyes were unwavering, but pleading. He was afraid I'd say no, but I couldn't say no. Not to him—to them. I was confused and wondered why—why had I changed my mind about not wanting to tell them anything about my past?

It was minutes ago I was terrified to be judged, to be seen as fragile. Now I wanted to throw myself at their feet and beg them—beg them to protect me. To listen to my every struggle. To hold me through every nightmare. To hold me as I cried and kiss my tears away.

My bottom lip trembles. I was sad, hurt, and scared. I was truly terrified of what the future holds. Will my friends be okay? Will I? I didn't know what to do, but I did know one thing. I wasn't safe being alone. I said the only thing I could at that moment.

"Okay." Tears flowed from my eyes like a raging river rapids. I reached my right hand out and threaded my finger with Hobi's left. His eyes looked down to our intertwined hands and a smile spread across his lips. I looked over to Taehyung to see him looking at our hands with a gentle smile of his own.

"Okay." I repeated when his eyes met mine.

"Let's go home." He offered his right hand out to me, and I didn't hesitate. I've always wanted a home.