⚠️ Tw: Sh (also mentions of it and ED ⚠️
Johnnies POV:
One cut for my stupidity
Another for being a dumbass
Two more for being a horrible person and a pussy
And lastly for being useless
A total of five cuts and I deserve them all.
Blood ran down my thighs covering my old scars.
One year of being clean down the gutter. It's been crazy since I stopped when I met Jake. He felt like the missing piece I was looking for. But of course I had to fuck that up as well.
Laughing hysterically but also crying I was having a panic attack. The worst part is it was around two in the morning and Jake was asleep.
I wanted Jake to comfort me while whispering 'it was going to be okay' in my ear, holding me close in his arms patting my back.
That wasn't going to happen though. I knew it too. He probably hated my guts right now.
I put a wet wash cloth on my thigh and watched it suck up all of the blood.
My mascara was ruined and it was dripping off my chin.
I put my skinny jeans back on and didn't bother to wash and put away the blade since it was my bathroom anyway.
A tiny pool of blood was resting on the floor helplessly.
"Shit I don't have any towels.." I groan walking out of my bathroom.
Sneaking into Jakes room, which was surprisingly clean, successfully was quite easy. Now I need to just get into his bathroom.
The door opened with the loudest creak ever.
"Johnnie.. what the fuck are you doing?" Jake grunted turning on his reading lamp.
I stood there like a fool not even trying to hide my blood stained hands. And honestly I just wanted this to be over with already.
"Uh mh.." Jake cut me off before I could actually say something stupid.
"Johnnie your fucking hands are stained with blood. What happened?"
"Uhn n- nothing happened.." I say quickly grabbing a towel.
"Johnnie I'm serious." Jake says holding onto my arm.
I wince and try and pull away. Jake sighs.
"Johnnie please dont tell me you've been cutting.."
The room fell silent and I just stood there hyperventilating.
"Johnnie it's okay." Jake says putting me on the sink. "Do you wanna talk about it?" I just nod my head.
"Ye- ..." Jake stopped me.
"You can just nod your head or shake it okay?" Jake says putting a hand on my cheek.
I nod and he asks me yes or no questions.
"Johnnie I want you to answer truthfully. Have you been cutting..?" I just nod and start crying like a pussy.
Jake's POV:
Johnnie nods and starts crying. He hugs me and I hug him back.
"Why didn't you come to me?" I ask.
"I didn't want to make you madder than you already were so I thought.." Johnnie starts.
"Bud no I'd never be mad! I'd rather have you wake me up or.. or I could've lost you." I say as Johnnie just sobs harder.
"I'm sorry Jake.." Johnnie whimpers.
"Don't be, it happens and sometimes you can't control it." I say.
Johnnie sniffles as his breathing slows down into a calmer motion.
I pat his back and grab the bandages.
"Johnnie where are the cuts?" I ask
"My thigh.." He responds quietly.
"Do you mind?" I say and Johnnie shakes his head.
Sliding off Johnnies skinny jeans I was met by five relatively fresh cuts and like twenty old ones.
"Johnnie.. when did you start?" I ask.
"Uhm like... I don't know.. maybe uhn when I was fourteen or maybe a little bit older..?" Johnnie winces.
"Well did you like you know ever stop?" I mutter lifting up Johnnies thigh so I could wrap the bandages around it.
"I stopped when I met you.." Johnnie flustered.
"Really?"
"Yeah.. I guess you made me feel wanted until yesterday when you got mad."
"Oh... I'm so sorry Johnnie.." I stop then zoning out I hug Johnnies waist. Knowing I was the reason he had fresh cuts makes me feel sick to my stomach in guilt.
"It's fine.."
I shook my head.
"Johnnie.. it's not fine. Your not fine and I know it. Words are in the past so please stop cutting.."
"I don't think I can promise anything.."
"Fine but if I catch you again I'm getting you a therapist."
"Fine.."
"Now is there anything else I should know?"
Johnnie spoke up to say 'no" but quickly nodded his head.
"Is it about the towel?"
"Yeah.."
Johnnie told me everything so I laid him down in my bed and went to clean up his bathroom.
It looked like a murder scene in there.
Johnnie was in the bathroom wiping off the mascara that ran down his cheeks. He then wiped the eye shadow and the rest of his makeup off.
Oh Johnnie.. what am I going to do with you..
Johnnies POV:
I stared into the mirror taking off my shirt revealing my tattoos.
Whatever..
I began to walk out of Jakes room before he appeared in front of me.
"Nuh uh your not going anywhere." Jake said pushing me down onto his bed.
"What why?" I ask sitting up on the bed as Jake plopped down beside me. I was facing Jake with my back against the wall. So if I wanted to get up I had to crawl over him.
"I don't trust you right now man. Not after you were just cutting not so long ago." Jake says looking up at the ceiling.
"Fine.."
"Do you want something to eat?"
I shake my head but Jake gets up and brings me toast anyway.
I sigh and take it and eat like half of it before throwing up when Jake went to get me water.
I have no clue why I can't eat simple things and throw up whatever the fuck I eat.
Jake laid beside me again making sure I felt comfortable and safe to be in his room.
He tucked me in like a kid and pulled me close to him.
Jake turned off the reading lamp and things fell quiet between us. Until Jake started softly making small noises which made me smile. I soon drifted off to sleep while Jake held me close.
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Your Love Is Just For Me {Jake Webber x Johnie Gilbert}
Aléatoire{epic description} {JK lol} Jake has been finding Johnnie more annoying as usual but Johnnie just wants to make Jake laugh. Johnnie has been feeling under the weather lately and just wants Jake's attention. Why? well ever since Jake and Tara broke u...
