NIKKI & JOE, CASUALLY |

23: queers with glue guns

            'So,' I start as I set down Rishi's hot glue gun, 'how has your week gone thus far?'

Joe shrugs on the other side of the kitchen table where she shaves off bits of insulation foam to carve out the top of Glimmer's staff. 'Another week of not having any sex with any strangers. But I did rewatch all of The Bisexual so it clearly wasn't entirely unproductive.'

'Is that with Desiree Akhavan?' Caleb asks with his AAC app. 'Yeah, we watched that. It's mint.'

A minute or two passes with each of us focused on our costumes before Joe speaks again. 'I like it a lot. It's really validating, I think. Cause, you know, a lot of lesbians are really biphobic but people don't really talk about it. Is it like that with men?'

'Probably, yes.' I glue the final craft foam feather to my arrow and place it aside to pick up the next one, which is currently just a painted dowel. 'I've had a lot of one-night stands or dates be dicks about it but I learnt pretty quickly to bring it up early on. "Hi, I'm Nicolás, I'm pansexual. Do you have a problem with that?"'

We exchange smiles over our crafts.

'But I've honestly had more issues with women than men,' I continue, glueing the arrowhead in place. 'A lot of gay men are patronising about it—which isn't nice either. But most women, even queer women, are outright horrified and disgusted at the fact I've had sex with men.'

Utility knife forgotten in her hand, Joe turns to Caleb. He takes a second of staring back to realise she wants his input too. Leaving his paintbrush on the newspaper covering the table, he unlocks his phone to type.

'Oh, yeah, for sure. But I'm trans so that's usually a bigger issue than being queer. "I'm exclusively into cocks." I've actually got twelve so you should worship me then.' His facial expressions more than make up for the lack of emotion in the robotic voice.

'How are things going with Michael?' Joe asks after another beat of silence. Her fingers loop into the gold chain of her necklace.

'Mint. I'm seeing him again tomorrow. I reckon it could actually go somewhere, us.'

She offers me a smile.

Though a lot of our hangouts consist of figuring out how to turn every single game on the planet into a drinking game—or just inventing them for ourselves, like "find and infiltrate a ridiculously specific private Facebook group, like Moms Against Play-Do or A Group Where You Can Only Complain About How The Group Used To Be So Much Better, and whoever fails or gets kicked out the fastest has to buy the drinks"—we do also do regular things sometimes. Tonight we're gathered at Rishi's apartment to work on our She-Ra costumes for Halloween.

Honestly, I've never been mad for the dressing up bit—I always liked Halloween cause of the sweets and then cause of the alcohol—but it's a joy to get to spend time with friends. Couldn't think of owt better to do on a Wednesday night.

'I was definitely in those biphobic lesbian spaces for most of my queer life,' Joe confesses. 'My ex... It's just that it's nice to have spaces exclusively for women sometimes, to feel understood and safe. But they so easily become trans- and biphobic. I'd keep going, thinking that maybe they just don't know better and they'll learn. Does that make sense?'

Caleb and I both affirm that it does.

I finish my last arrow and pull the glue gun from the socket, free to look at Joe properly. A smile tugs at my mouth. 'You say that a lot. "If that makes sense", "Does that make sense?", "That doesn't make sense"...'

Joe sinks into her shoulders, dropping her stare to her insulation foam. Fuck. Dick move!

Caleb's AAC app pipes up before I can apologise. 'I think we should all make less sense. It's good for the soul.'