NIKKI & JOE, CASUALLY | ✓

06: hotboxing is not enough

            When I got the call from a bartender at The Neon Aeon named Joe to tell me that Cece had been caught with a fake ID, I hadn't expected to meet the same Joe that I'd chatted with after my date with Aziat.

Her short, soft silhouette blocks the light from the open employee door behind her but the street is bright enough for me to see her smile.

This is a situation I'm more than familiar with. Last year, if a day passed without me getting a call from the headteacher's office, it was a breach of routine. But I didn't usually get greeted with a smile. The faint notch of a cleft lip only makes Joe's sweeter.

Recognition clicks in her eyes when I'm close enough. 'You're Nicolás?'

I nod.

'It's nice to see you again, I suppose. I'm Joe,' she reminds me. 'With an e at the end.'

I rub my wrist, hook up summat like a smile.

She's just tryna be nice. It's not her fault I can barely move for the vines of dread cinched around my limbs. It's not her fault that every second we waste out here adds a flood of adrenaline into my blood. I'm not sure there's any blood left at all.

'Anyway, he's inside.' Joe holds the door open and I follow her into a narrow corridor. We pass various walk-in fridges and freezers. 'I'm sorry. I hope this didn't completely ruin your night, on Pride and everything. Honestly, he–'

'They,' I correct.

'Sorry?'

'My brother goes by they/he pronouns.'

'Okay. They could've run off with the rest of the lot.'

I only register the rest of her words when Joe leads me past the kitchen. Did she just apologise? For doing her job?

I'm the one who should be apologising, I'm the one who's supposed to be responsible for Cece. Why didn't I just let him into Spectrum? At least I could've kept an eye on them that way.

I forget everything I've ever learnt about manners the moment Joe unlocks the door to the office. I shove past her into the room, no "thank you", no apology. Cece leans back in the only chair, ankles crossed on the desk as he works on a rubik's cube.

His eyes don't move from it as he speaks. 'You took your time. You've no idea how boring it is here.'

Like I could've gotten here any faster. I drove here as fast as I could, faster than I should've.

But oh no! Cece is bored.

I grab his chin, not hard but firm enough to catch his face in the light before he twists free. 'Are you high?'

'No. My eyes are red because I'm evil.' He rolls them. 'I can smoke one zoot without going into psychosis. Relax.'

Relax? Relax? Would I be the asshole if I strangle him?

But I should relax. I should be comforting. I shouldn't get angry. Everything Google has ever said stresses the importance of not getting angry.

How am I meant to not get angry when they grin at me smug as Henry fucking Hoover when he gets caught round a corner? F-U-C-K written on their teeth, flicking through that fucking rubik's cube without looking at it. He's not even tryna solve it; he's just winding me up.

'Whose idea were this then?'

'Do it matter?'

'Um,' Joe interrupts before I manage to seize the cube and stomp it into pixels. 'My supervisor would like to talk to you.'