Silver Card

Chapter 9: Missing Friend

Rain.

A natural phenomena of millions of silver threads dancing on the wind. Fat raindrops playfully chase each other down the glass. Watch their performances and you'll feel blessed. Join them for too long and you'll get sick. But nevertheless, it is always fun to watch them dance.

I always turn my head to them, attracted to their beautiful performance. I would like to feel those drops. Jumping in puddles like a little kid. I remember I used to do that, with Clara, Beatrix, Arlo, Aiden, and Alan.

Alan would be the happiest among us. To him, playing in the rain is much more enjoyable than playing with toys or video games. Perhaps it is because it brought him to an adventure where he doesn't have to worry about rules or boundaries. It made him feel more free. I wish I could be like him. I wish I could be like Alan. I admire him so much, he is a very kind and sweet boy. He enjoyed his youth very well. He did not waste his life, the life that his parents had nurtured with their soul. He has worked hard to live as best as he can.

But I can't...

I... failed...

Mother would be very disappointed if she saw me right now. Pathetic, miserable little boy who can't make the right decisions. I have wasted my life, burdened father, and ruined my vow to mother, and I have killed someone. The one person that had fought for his life much better than I did, my best friend. What makes it worse is his aunt will be alone now that he won't return. Dang it, I have ruined so many lives. I'm a monster...

The thought weighs heavy on me, trample on every corner of my heart. Each drop felt like needles, a relentless percussion that hammered my soul. Its melody transforms hollowness in my gut, washing away all my hope.

Wait... This feels weird... What is this feeling?

This is the first time I have felt this heaviness, this... darkness. It doesn't feel good, let it away from me. It feels like there is a dark poison clouding my mind, my soul. Someone help me, get me away from them.

Wait, I'm all alone. Or rather, I have to be alone. I deserved it. I'm a hazard that ruins everyone's lives around me. I can't let myself be around my friends, or anyone. Perhaps it would be better if I just-

"Callahan!" a clear call snapped me back to reality. "You look tired there, are you following us?" I can't say I understand all those math jabberwockies, but I can't admit that I was distracted from my first existential crisis.

"I'm all good sir." I lied without a moment of hesitation.

"Hmm, very well. If that's the case, then we'll move on." The teacher continues his lecture as he points his long ruler to the board.

Phew, that was close. One wrong move and I'll be in detention, good thing I have a good reputation in math. Perhaps all father's harsh lectures paid off after all. Although that is a matter I luckily get by. I notice a lot of my classmates stare at me with various emotions. I thought it was weird, they don't usually give me that look. Unless, I was acting strange or showing a weird expression when I was admiring the rain. Well, either way, it doesn't really matter. It's not like I caused a scene or anything. It's probably nothing special.

As I hear the teacher explain the board, I put my face to my hand and return to the rain. Oh how I would love to dance in there, let all of them pour into my despair. A touch of water always calms my nerves. Drinking, showering, swimming, all of them are a blessing. I wish I could touch them again. That is until I feel a thin liquid gently flow into my hand. I realized soon after, my tears had been streaming on my face.

Shrill ring of the bell sent a signal to the teacher. "Class dismissed, everyone. Enjoy your break time." Waves of movement spread among the students, I was the first one to act.