100 Ways To Fall In Love

Deidara

MOMENTS: When You Are With Me

---

Deidara watched as you carefully carved a cross out of wood. It was a sentimental thing but Deidara thought it suited you. You were quite the sentimental person.

Little things always seemed to get you.

A small wooden box hidden in the corner of your room was filled with little tokens and trinkets you had acquired from all the special people in your life. Deidara remembered stumbling across it one day. He remembered the urgency in your face when you thought he had done something about it. He remembered the utter relief you expressed and the soft look that filled your eyes when you realised that nothing had happened to it. Most of all, Deidara remembered the tears you secretly tried to wipe away as you explained each and every story to Deidara.

He, who was now buried beneath the ground, had taught you how to carve things out of wood. It seemed almost fitting that you would be the last one to ever carve him something.

"(Y/n)." said Deidara.

You gave a "hm?" in response.

You didn't bother looking up at Deidara, instead slowly leaning towards him to signal that you were listening. For a moment Deidara wasn't all too sure if he really wanted to say what he was going to say. It wasn't something normal people said to each other.

Uncertain if he should speak his mind or not Deidara instead begins with, "you know that shinobi should always try their best to cut themselves off from their emotions."

"I suppose you're right."

"You suppose?"

"I've always considered myself a human before a shinobi. Truthfully, I've never really cut throat enough for the life of a shinobi."

"Then why would you choose this life?"

"Because I owe it to everyone that couldn't do it themselves."

Deidara feels a strange pang in his chest as he watches you. It's not exactly pity but sympathy is much too intimate. Deidara can really only describe it as something melancholic and foregin. Distant and unknown.

Deidara raised a brow, "everyone? Well, aren't you self important."

"I suppose it seems that way." you paused your carving, "but that's not what I meant. I owe it to everyone that has died for me. To all my friends who should have been shinobi."

There's such a sad and earnest look in your eyes. Deidara has to think long and hard if he has ever seen such an expression before. In this life that he has chosen to live he can see that the people are harsh and unforgiving. That they are cold and calculative. That their true feelings are masked by what others believe they should be.

You, on the other hand, had always been so expressive. You weren't temperamental, and hotheaded. You didn't jump into things and act on your emotions, but you were always honest about how you felt. You unapologetically loved, hated and lived. It was refreshing to Deidara and alluring, in a strange way.

It was definitely abnormal but Deidara had never really been normal in the first place.

And you had never been all that normal either.

After a brief moment of internal debate, Deidara finally said, "don't be sad when I die."

You finally looked away from your uncompleted makeshift cross, "why not?"

Deidara leaned down towards you, a rare frown evident across his soft features and his blue eyes lost into the distance.

---