Wisdom and Words; The Human Experience - By Shilopink

Not Worrying: That's How It Feels

The more I experience life; and the more I learn; I have come to see how truly important and essential the relationship you have with yourself is.

It's funny; how we are,, hopefully, taught and told, sometimes how to maintain relationships with others.

We now, in a new day and age, are much more aware of ourselves. But still, we aren't taught how to truly build a relationship with ourselves.

We really do figure it all out as we figure out ourselves; and that process never ends. It's eye-opening and humbling. I am very grateful and honoured to be a human being.

It's easy to forget to "enjoy the process." Or "Enjoy the journey." Do I think about how I have to enjoy the journeys I am on? Yes. Absolutely. It flashes through my mind every now and again. Especially when I think about how much more I need to do— in life, as a person— etc. Tale as old as time,, you know the drill.

But do I truly savour, each moment; each experience of becoming myself? I believe I can improve in that area. I should savour it more than I do.

It's kind of funny, In a ironic way, how I hear about how I have 'all the time in the world' and I do— I have all the time in the world—but sometimes, it sure doesn't feel like that. Perhaps that's just the pessimistic anxiety— self inflicted— it makes me laugh.

As I am writing this, I'm thinking about how anxiety is actually pessimistic.

What do I do when I feel like this?

Well, I sometimes shake my head— doing what I like to call an -etch a sketch- of removing that train of thought.

Sometimes I loudly exhale. Imagining that the breath I push out Carries away the thought in my mind, physically leaving my body out through the breath.

And, other times I just stop thinking— as in— I quiet my mind. Certainly easier some days than others— when that happens it's wonderful. In that moment, I am truly existing completely in the moment. At first, you might feel uneasy— having nothing going on in your head. Just blissfully beautiful quiet and serenity.

The best way I can describe it— Your mind when you are overthinking, is like this cluttered room. It's sometimes dimly lit, you have to push and shove things around to move around the room. It feels small and overwhelming. Like you're out of breath— or the onset of becoming out of breath is about to happen.

However—On the other hand: When you quiet your mind completely. And yes, that is possible! It's like your entire being, beyond just your mind, your body and spirt; exist in this endless, open field. I picture it as a field of flowers, with medium length grass swaying from a warm spring breeze; something you would go frolicking in.

It's sweet. It's happiness, it is this gentle confidence in being comfortably uncomfortable— being placed in the moment of here, and now.

It's peaceful.

Another analogy for you— because I just love analogy's:

Picture yourself in a hot and stuffy room. Maybe you're in your living room, maybe you're in a grand hall— maybe you're in your bathroom after your shower, all steamy and thick with fog and heat.

Can you feel it in your lungs?

That thick breath. It's like you just can't get a clear enough inhale.

Now— picture yourself walking out onto a star lit balcony— the moment you slide the door open,, you're hit immediately with the all consuming grace of the cool air from outside— mingling with the heated air you step away from— furthering yourself from the heavy heat behind you.

This new air; It's cold and Crisp. It soothes your lungs. Basking in the way they feel when they expand. Absentmindedly conscious of the cooling oxygen that is regulating you.

And you stay. You just stay there. Your eyes flutter themselves open every now and then. Savouring it all.

That— is what not worrying, or thinking feels like.

It's that good.

-Shilopink

15/4/2024