In Search for the Lost Osmanthus Wine

Chapter 1: Where The Journey Begins:

“SIR KAEYA WATCH OUT THE DOOR ISN’T OPENED!” Diluc yelled, HE ‘KNEW’ his brother was BLIND in one eye and Diluc didn’t want his brother to get HURT! So he runs in front of Kaeya, protecting him with all his might.

SLAM!

Diluc faceplants idk the stupid darn diggity dog word but he slams into the glass and his body spreads out on the glass. Kaeya stands with a pokerface unable to register what just happened, Jean gasps and then screams, “OMG oh hell naw Lord Barbatos get yo butt in here. Are you seeing this?”

Venti nodded as he held a bucket of popcorn in his hand, “A poem I shall recite for the mourning of Diluc-”

“I’m not dead Venti..” Diluc grumbled, staring at Venti, “Ah.. Right!” Venti smiled before swishing his hand, a lyre popped into existence, “But that doesn’t matter!”

He strums the lyre with his hand as he closes his eyes, “For today may be grey, but the stars show less! So where you go there will always be somewhere to rest.”

“That was the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard.” Diluc mumbled, as he did a thinking pose. Jean shook her head before staring at Kaeya, “Sir Kaeya, are you alright? You haven’t said anything.” Kaeya flinched before chuckling, “Ahaha! Of course I’m alright, what Cavalry Captain am I if I am not alright?”

Diluc scoffed, “Alright ‘Cavalry Captain’ fetch me some horses.. Oh right I’ve never seen a horse in my life because they don’t exist!”

“Oh my, Master Diluc.. Your anger issues are showing.. Perhaps I should call a therapist for anger management?” Diluc rolled his eyes, “And perhaps I should shove this fist up your a-”

Jean raises her arms, “Alright boys.. That’s enough- Gah- Venti what’re you doin’?!” Jean screamed as she saw Venti running towards Kaeya with…. Bottled wine? “RAAAAAAAAA” Venti yelled, “AAAAAAAA” Kaeya yelled.

“Don’t worry, my prince.. For I am here!” An unrecognised voice called out.

“Oh my gosh it’s All Might-” Jean gasped before being elbowed in the chin by Kaeya.

“Who the hell are you?” Kaeya asked, Dainsleif sighed before kneeling down taking Kaeya’s hand before placing a kiss on the back of his hand, “My prince-”

“Please stop calling me that-” Kaeya gets cut off by Diluc pushing him, “Who do YOU think YOU are.. TOUCHING MY BROTHER!!” Quickly he pulls out his claymore and heaves it above his shoulder. As he was about to swing the blonde man quickly stood up.

“He is my prince. I must stay loyal to him.. I have failed my duty.” He looks at Kaeya, “But I havent lost my will.. To fight and protect the last meaning of my life.” Everyone stood still, Diluc still had a pissed off look.

“Tch! So what, you will not touch him.”

As Dainsleif was about to say something a new voice entered the proximity.

“Hey girlie~”

“Childe, are you sure this is where they sell Osmanthus wine? And I'm not a girl..” Venti perks up, Childe laughs at the others' response as he elbows him, “Of course! Where else would they sell it-”

“Are you going to pay for it? I forgot my wallet.”

“Dude you have no money you broke liar…And I ain’t yo sugar daddy-”

“Could you be because I really am in desperate times?”

“WHAT THE F-”

“ENOUGH!” Jean yelled before being elbowed in the stomach, “OOF!” She yeets into the background. Kaeya runs towards the opened door of Diluc’s home. Inviting the two males in, “Thank you for inviting us in.” Zhongli smiled.

“Why are so many people in my house- LEAVE!” Diluc yelled, pumping his fist into the air. Zhongli sighed, shaking his head, “To know I waited over 5000 years for a better humanity.. Only to receive this, Guizhong, what'd I do to deserve this?”

“Well..” Diluc inhaled a breath. “What. Are. You. Doing. Here. In. My. HOME? YOU HOE..” Childe stays quiet before looking around, “Well seems you have renovated this place.. It doesn’t give me emo vibes anymore, that’s for sure.”

“Who said I was emo? In fact Zhongli is the emo here.”

Zhongli smiled, “I’m actually the gay emo grandpa-” Childe shuts Zhongli’s mouth, “Enough annoying chatter from this loser but we’re in a dire time!!!” Childe yelled before collapsing on the floor from heat exhaustion, no more was he in Snezhnaya he missed his hometown, Russia- Tar tar ta.

Zhongli facepalmed, “Plis fuit gummy! WE NEED OSMANTHUS WINE OR I WILL CALL FOR JUSTICE!” Right then and there Diluc’s life flashed before his eyes, he salutes to his father. Closing his eyes as he accepted his fate.

“Of course I won’t strike a justified meteor on you..” Zhongli sighed. “You are my resourceful companion to accompany me on this trip for Osmanthus Wine.”

“We don’t SERVE this “Osmanthus Wine”.” Zhongli sighed again, “Thank you for informing me..” Venti raises his hand, “Ah! Wait, kind sir.” A devilish smirk arises on his face, and Zhongli begins to sweat. “I do know where this “Osmanthus Wine” is though! Because I heard it’s at the tippity top of Dragonspine!”

“Wait guys who is that?” Diluc asked, pointing at the light blue hair sticking out from the door, “Hm? I’m not sure, let me check,” Kaeya replied before walking towards the door only to be gripped onto the waist and pulled out of view.

“KAEYA!” Everyone basically yelled, even Childe’s unconscious body! As Diluc runs in slow motion he quickly twists around the corner to stand in pure shock.

There Kaeya was standing in a pink princess outfit as he held a wand, a man with a blonde ponytail and a red Inazuman outfit was fixing a bow that sat neatly on the back of his waist.

The blue haired man smiled, “Thank you Thoma. My sister will love this gift!” Thoma gives his lord a thumbs up, “The pleasures mine, My Lord.” Diluc felt his blood boil. As a vein pops in his forehead he feels his eye twitch.

“What in tarnation do you think you’re doing TO MY BROTHER? AND HE ISN’T A GIFT” Now running, the two males look at each other before Thoma smiles, “Sorry, but we’ll be borrowing your brother from now on until..” He looks at Ayato, the blue haired male hummed.

“Till next week,” He said before he picked up Diluc’s brother's bridal style. Kaeya yelped, clinging onto the Inazuman man, “Uhm- I didn't agree to this.. But I can accept it.” Kaeya smiled before staring into Diluc’s angered expression.

Kaeya raises his hand, waving goodbye, “See you in a week bro!” And then the Cavalry Captain disappeared.

“THOSE- THOSE DEGENERATES! Impudent snakes!” Diluc ranted as he stormed back inside.

Jean quickly comforts the red-headed male, “It’ll be alright Diluc, I know those men.. Kaeya’s in good hands?” Although she was ‘comforting’ him she actually had no idea who those people were.

Zhongli shook his head, “This isn’t about Kaeya right now.. We need to get my Osmanthus Wine.” He snarled as he heaved Childe onto his shoulder. He walks out of Diluc’s home, “C’mon guys let’s help him find that Osmanthus Wine!” Venti exclaimed as he yippeed out of the home.

Diluc sat in distress, his hands smothered in his hair, “What do I do.. My poor baby brother.” He sniffled, Jean stared at him blankly before curving her brows, “Don’t worry Diluc, Kaeya is a grown adult-”

Diluc stands up, yelling into Jeans’ face, “AND HE’S MY BABY BROTHER!”

Jean waves him off, “Yeah.. I’m not getting into this. See you at your grave.” She leaves his home.

A/N: this is really cringe omg. Trust me, as time goes on this book slowly gets more serious. I just started this as a joke bro, how did it end up like this.