Legacy's Ghost

Episode 44: War Versus Peace

I press my lips between my teeth and think for a moment. "I dunno. Each one of them has something I want. Magnus gives me a chance to fight the swam and save the colony. Gamma helps me make friends and be loved. I'd never go hungry again. The Ghost gives me. . ."

I can't find the words to say what choosing the Ghost would mean. Honesty? Power? The ability to choose for myself rather than having them choose for me?

Finally, I settle on, "Independence."

Edmonds brows shoot up and he inclines his head. "Very good, Atan. Now tell me, what are the bad things that would happen if you chose each of them?"

I blink at him. "Huh?"

"The bad. Each one of these choices presents both good and bad." He sips his water. What is the bad to each one? You can be honest. I'm not here to judge you, I'm here to help you come to the best decision for you."

"Well, for starters, getting electrified sucks!" I say throwing my arms out to my sides. "It really hurts. I don't want to do it. And every time I do do it, I end up in the hospital."

I lift both shoulders and hunch them, trying to curl into myself. "I don't know how I make it happen. I can't just turn it on when someone wants it. And even if I can, I don't want to."

Edmond's brows rise. "All valid points. It's brave of you to bring that up."

Something inside me relaxes at his comment. Maybe he won't hate me for not wanting to be a hero. Maybe. . .

I bite my lip. "I'm not a god. If I went with the PPNs, I'd feel guilty for lying to all of them. Taking their stuff. Letting them treat me like a god when I'm not." I crinkle my nose in distaste and wring my mask between my hands. "I'd hate it the whole time."

"Also solid reasoning," Edmond says, taking another sip of his water. He crosses his feet at his ankles, and from a distance, it would probably look like we were having a relaxing conversation. Not one that's going to change my life, and probably Legacy Colony's.

I stare at my feet and say nothing.

Edmond nudges me with his elbow. "C'mon, son. You can tell me. Every job has a good and a bad. You just have to decide which one you can live with."

"People will always hate me. I'll be the one that decided not to fight. Decided not to help the people. Who just ran away to be a Ghost. Who hid."

"And is that what you'd be doing?" Edmond asks, raising his brows.

"I dunno. It kind of feels like it."

Edmond leans over, places the nearly empty goblet of water back onto the table in front of us, then shifts on the bench to look at me before crossing his hands over his leg. Then he sighs, like he's contemplating.

"Every country, colony, or species, needs three things when they go to war." He holds up one finger. "First, they need a strong army."

"Yes."

Edmond holds up another finger. "Second, they need strong support from their people, and strong moral support from the civilians the people they are fighting for. Agreed?"

I nod.

He holds up a third finger. "And finally, they need strong and ethical leaders who will make the hard decisions so that the colonists don't have to. Who will lead with the people's best interests in mind, and who will, when the time comes, go to battle for those people, be it philosophically, or physically."

"What does that mean?" I say, scrunching my brows together.

"It means that sometimes the best leaders aren't the most loved or the strongest. Sometimes they're the ones behind the scenes doing the hard, thankless work it takes to run the colony so that those out front look good, and can do what they need to do to run things."

"But what does that mean?" I say again.

Edmond smiles down at me. "It means that you aren't running away if you want to be true to yourself. If you aren't comfortable with the PPNs, don't feel bad for saying no. If you don't want to be a weapon for Magnus. You can still be effective by choosing to go with Tradon."

He nudges my leg with his knee. "Did you know that nearly every time the LAs go to battle with the Swarm, Tradon is with them? Just because he's the Ghost doesn't mean he hides. It means he does what he needs to do to help the people where they need it."

He nudges my knee again. "And when Gamma has an emergency, or a natural disaster occurs, Tradon jumps in, rolls up his sleeves, and helps her too. It's not just about stepping back and only being the tiebreaker. It's about going where you're needed and leading by example."

"So the Ghost wasn't saying to keep my power away from everyone. He was saying share it with everyone?"

Edmond inclines his head. "If that's what you want to do. But on your terms. Not theirs."

"Magnus and Gamma will hate me if I don't choose them, won't they?" I ask.

Edmond stands. "Put your gear back on. I think it's time to go home and let you do the rest of the pondering on your own."

"But—"

Edmond shakes his head and smiles gently down at me. "I wouldn't be agood advisor if I told you what to think. I'm here to inform and to enlighten.But you must make this decision on your own."