Happier

"jump then fall into me"

  CHAPTER 7

SOUL'S POV

Awkward.

I felt awkward all over my body, it was like my spine was on fire.

What I was thinking jumping in front of Noah like that? I may have been Soul Harper but deep down I knew I was a try hard. Noah looked comfortable with me blocking his way to shake his hand though, I mean I was trying to be nice and to make a new friend, God knows I needed one. But I hoped he didn't think that I was being nice because he told me he was gay, I didn't mind and me not saying anything probably gave him the wrong impression, should I have said something rather than "that's fucked up?" I've never had a gay acquittance before, sure I had gay fans, and the thirstiest comments I got were from men but I never got close to a gay person before, not that it bothered me or something but I was probably afraid of saying the wrong thing. But there was something about Noah that I couldn't wrap my head on...something interesting.

Earlier, when he was dressing I couldn't get my eyes off his body, I tried to pretend like I was busy on the phone but truth is, I was staring at him, which made me more awkward cause why was I looking at him and why did I feel the temperature rise when he dropped his towel and what was I still doing in that room when he clearly wanted privacy? I felt like a pervert but we were both boys, right? I've seen a lot of naked boys when I was still in the football team at my previous school, so I guess that's why I didn't get out? Or was I secretly gay and I didn't know? I mean it can't be, I had a girlfriend and we pretty much did what people our age shouldn't be doing at all...so I wasn't gay, surely not, then why was I nervous while talking to Noah, why was I making small gestures to make him laugh and why was I suddenly questioning my entire existence?

When we reached to the library, my childhood memories came rushing back to me.

I was suddenly 8 again running all over my favorite library in Buenos Aires. I would always go there when I was on vacation to visit my grandmother. My grandfather and grandmother decided to move in Argentina when my grandpa's cancer treatments weren't working, he always said that he wanted to die on a foreign land, so they moved to Argentina forever. He passed shortly after that, but he passed on his love for books to me...no doubt. Seeing this library at Lorain High made me very excited, I could feel tears filling up at the corners of my eyes and I know I am being a little dramatic over books but it's the truth. Noah couldn't contain his excitement either especially when he saw my reaction to the library, he probably couldn't believe that the famous Soul Harper was in fact a book nerd.

I immediately walked towards one of the shelves to check what book were in and I instantly stumbled upon one of the copies of 'Lord of the Rings' and my heart stopped like literally, I could just sit there all day and forget about when my next album was coming out. I took the book in my hands and turned to show it to Noah who to my surprise was looking like he was going to get sick.

"Noah, you OK?" I asked but judging by the look on his face, he wasn't. before he could even mutter a response, he lost control and almost fell down but the bookshelf stopped him and it was clearly not for long. I can't even find the words to explain what happened next because one second, I was standing still and the next I became an Olympian flying in the air to stop Noah from hitting the ground. I reached there on time to grab him by the waist and pull him towards me but unfortunately his weight and mine became harder to balance so, I headed to the ground and fell down and Noah fell on top of me. He looked me in the eyes and I froze, such beautiful eyes, it was like staring right into the Pacific Ocean. His face was so close to mine, I could feel the scent of strawberry toothpaste all over my face. He smiled awkwardly and tried to get up but with my hands wrapped around his waist, he couldn't move. I felt my jeans tighten and Noah's face flushed red as his face got way closer to mine, my hands which were supposed to be wrapped around his waist were instead moving slowly down to his butt, my eyes wandered away from his eyes and fell automatically to his lips which looked way more beautiful than his ocean eyes.