Chords of Love: An Anthology

Coming Home

Ep. 269

How long has it been?

She vaguely remembers leaving the venue a while ago. And then she had been walking for quite some time. She wasn't sure where or how long she had gone. But when the ache in her feet got bad, she didn't mind finding herself in the familiar streets of her neighborhood.

Almost home at least.

Home?

House.

The house was empty and cold when she came in.

When had she come in anyway?

HM doesn't know how long it has been.

 
 
 
It could've barely been a few minutes, but the heaviness felt like it has been weighing her down for hours. So heavy that she had barely made it to her room before at last, she crumbled under it. In hindsight, she'll call herself pathetic for not even making it to the bed.

Collapsed on the floor, she cries.

Grieving for her loss. Weeping for her fate.

She cried for a while. Flooding the silence with her pain, trying to drown the noise in her head. Her mind still screamed, she only screamed louder.

Chipping away at the armor that she never took off. Grimacing when it creaked from the erosion. HM let it all fall off until she was left with nothing to keep her together.

Her wounds screeched in agony, ones she had never let see the light of day.

They never healed.

She never got a chance to let them.

HM doesn't know how long it has been.
 
 
 

It must have taken some time.

She had been holding in the pain for so long. It must've taken some time to let it all out.

Her head is spinning and it could be because she's been crying but it's hard to tell.

She feels sick. As if she's stuck in a plane that feels like a metal death trap in the air. Flying without a direction and doing aerobatic maneuvers every few seconds. Yet the turbulence gives her neither a thrill nor a dread. She doesn't feel the excitement of flying, nor the fear of falling.

It's just a constant whirlwind in her head, and she's left praying for it to stop. For a moment of rest from the chaos. From the crying.

She prayed for a while.

HM doesn't know how long it has been.
 
 
 

Maybe there was a reason for this.

For better or worse, there had to be a reason for this.

Why this happened?

Why she was affected but not in the way she should have been?

Why her head felt like exploding but her heart felt fine?

Why she was still crying?

It would help if she could understand why she was crying. But she had no answer for herself. She felt weak and untethered. As if she were detached from her own mind. And each time she let a thought through, it'd hit her like the a cannon ball, and she was a ship at sea without an anchor. She couldn't fight back or defend herself when each hit kept knocking her off her course.

She longed for something, anything to anchor her. Keep her steady. Ground her.

She waits.

HM doesn't know how long it has been.