Chords of Love: An Anthology

A Progression of Sorts

It's been a couple of weeks since the rather unpleasant engagement ceremony and afterthought is a funny thing.

HM still cannot believe she ever thought she could be happy with the future she was about to force upon herself. She was out looking for joy in the worst places. Trying to do what was expected of her when she never actually asked herself what she wanted.

So swept up in the idea that she needed a perfect partner that neither she herself, nor society, gave her the permission to question fate when AS weaseled his way into her life. And she, along with the rest of the world, foolishly fell for his 'ideal love interest' persona without realizing that he was never that good.

Hell, his whole existence in her life had been meticulously planned as part of his first mission. And he carefully curated his actions to trick her into thinking he was a good match when in reality he probably wouldn't have done half those things on his own.

How could she have ever thought that she would be happy with someone who never showed their true self to her?

His efforts to fabricate a perfect image just solidified the fact that HM never liked him organically.

Perhaps, she never could.

At least not the way she liked KS.

It's been a couple of weeks since the ill-advised engagement was thankfully broken, and all her present thoughts are stuck on KS.

KS hadn't left her alone for a single moment this whole time. Looking after her every need and yet making it seem so normal, so natural that HM wonders how long she's been doing it without her knowledge.

In fact, she wonders about KS a lot.

HM wants to know where she is, and what she's doing, all the time.

Her eyes seeking KS in whichever room she enters.

Her ears picking up the sounds of her presence among all the noise.

When she's with her, she wants time to stop.

When she's alone, she finds herself counting the minutes until she can see KS again.

For someone so in tune with her emotions, HM experiences way too many unknown feelings when KS is concerned. But rather than sorting them out and wasting time, for once HM allows herself to just go with the flow and has faith that things will be good. HM just knows they will be great as long as they are together. She has had the privilege of KS's presence by her side and HM doesn't think she has ever been this happy before.

She is closer to her than she had ever let herself be close to anyone. There is never a question of discomfort when it comes to KS. HM can share her darkest parts with her, and be confident that KS will never judge her. She can show her weakest moments and be assured that KS will become her strength. She can be at her most vulnerable, and know that KS will be there to make it okay.

But more than that, is the luxury of being the one that KS trusts. It made her feel special when KS needed her back.

HM already feels over the moon when KS shows her soft side, her hidden kindness and her quiet care. It is something that she only ever shows her family. And letting HM see her in that way means that KS considers her part of the family. One of the handful of people she truly cares about.

Only, HM knows her better.

Of course, she loves it when KS is soft with her. But then again, KS is also soft with the MPT staff and Ammi. And try as she might, HM doesn't feel satisfied with just being one of the handful. For some reason, she always couldn't help but want more. She wants her trust, her honesty, but more than anything HM wants to be the one, perhaps the only one, that's allowed to see parts of KS that she herself isn't aware of.