Last night's occurence performed in my mind. I feel stupid. My act there was full of idiocy. I am certain now he thinks i am creepy. But it's fine, i don't think it's time to feel miserable about my performance full of idiocy, anyways, i am still smart, an unfortunate event does not define my intelligence or decency.
Moreover, he seemed weirder and creepier than me. He did not even fluster away or even react by my interruption - clank.
Yes, i have preformed an act of clumsiness, again. I had been doing dishes while i ruminate about things, but the dish slipped from my hands and made a loud and irritating noise. I am going to receive another long tirade, with talking point being, how useless and disappointing meera is. I can hear her already starting to question me about the commotion. I tell her the dish slipped from my hands, earning an earful of wonderful words.
That is fine, it was your mistake. Have some courage to accept the consequences, meera.
Telling myself that it was fine and just a small thing, mother just wanted to discipline me, i walked myself to room.
My exams are over. I have nothing to do. College would be starting soon but till then, i have nothing to do. I think a night walk again should help this flat mood.
Oh and about the other night incident, i was wandering around at night outside, without mother's acknowledgement, ofcourse. I saw a figure peacefully painting in their outer verandah and admiring the celestial bodies. I wanted to see, who is it and what are they making, at this time.
And apparently i skillfully and silently reached there and saw a boy, he seemed young, not the matter for now, he was painting moon and oh, i tell you, it was so alluring. His painting was hipnotic. I couldn't help my compassion and awe and ended up uttering wow and making my presence known. His voice was soothing, he seemed at peace and serene and my voice had cracked, that was even embarassing. To make situation less awkward and to not look creepy, i thought to introduce myself. But i ended up embarassing myself again when he asked what was i doing there, at that hour. I thought, he would sue me for trespassing. I should not have run away like that last night but i wanted to live a little longer, if ammi found out that i wasn't home last night, that would be really a huge problem.
