The World Between Us

5. Endings

They were sitting side by side in the window, staring up at the night sky.
" I feel like I am in a story, " She told him. " And I feel that any moment Rhysand will pop out and say, ' To the stars who listen, Feyre '. "
He laughed. It was a wild sound, like wind across the grass in the rain.
" I am honored you would compare me to Rhysand, " He said.
" What Faerie do you relate most too ? " She asked, curious.
He thought for several seconds and answered, " I think Wren. She was forced to leave her mortal family and go be a trapped heir for someone's evil purposes. If she had to choose she would never have left them. Faerie took her against her will. "
Fair enough, she thought. He'd talked as if he knew more of the horrors of Faerie than the wonders the mortal stories talked about. So he felt trapped too. Just like her. She marveled again at the fact that after years and years of waiting, she'd finally found someone like her. Someone who could understand, who could relate to what she felt.
" What about you? " His voice drew her out of her reverie. " Any faerie character you relate to? "
" I'm a mortal, remember? " She said. He nodded seriously. " So who do you feel best describes you? "
She had thought about this multiple times. " Celine Herondale, " She said without hesitation. " I mean, she didn't really mean to seperate Stephen from Amatis, you know. She just made a series of bad decisions and when she was in a tight spot, Valentine took advantage of her weakness. "
" None of our characters have happy endings, do they? " He said.
" I'm not sure what my idea of a happy ending is, " She said thoughtfully. " I mean people have one idea of an ever after and I... I don't know if it's right or wrong... I just don't agree with it. "
" Do you think I can have a happy ending? " He asked her curiously. It seemed as if he was convinced he would never have that.
" I'm not going to reassure you you're going to have one, " She told him honestly. " Because I don't know that for sure. But if I had a choice, I would choose this moment right now for my happy ending. "
" You would want our story to end here? " He asked her.
" I would rather be seen for who I am just for one night than have a boy who loves the my facade of lies for all the days of my life. " She told him.
He looked at her as if she was a miracle, someone he had never ever expected to find. " I would take today to be my happy ending too, " He said. " Better a honest mortal than a truth telling faerie."
" Why did you wait so long to come here, " She asked him, wondering what horrors he had endured.
" I didn't know until today, " He said. " I only just found out that my real family was here. So I came here to find them and...
" Found that they didn't care, " She finished for him. She smiled uncertainly at him. " Blood isn't family you know, " (1)
" Your family is the people who love you,(1) " He completed her, like he always did. " I do not have anyone who loves me for the fact to hold true. "
She felt his loneliness, the despair of not being loved ever because you were just.... Different. And she didn't want him to be alone. She wanted someone to love him for who he was, because she had never been loved for who she was and she had always wished for someone like that.
So she said, " I could love you. "
He looked at her sadly. " You are not sure. "
" I hardly even know you, " She said. " But if I knew you for a few more days , a few more months, I think I could fall in love with you. "
" No love at first sight? " He said in a teasing tone.
" That's attraction, not love. Loving someone means you see them. " She said.
He smiled. " I have never met someone who believed in this. I am glad that someone's definition of love matches mine. But time is a luxury we do not have. "
She understood. This night would end and she wouldn't see him again. She couldn't ask more of him. They had seperate lives, different responsibilities.... But that didn't change the significance of tonight. The joy of finding this boy, of being with him.
" You know when Emma goes to destroy the parabatai rune and Jules stops her? When he says to have faith in the intrinsic goodness of the world? It got her through her darkest moment. I would like it if this night was the light I held onto in my darkest moments. "
He smiled, a slow, beautiful smile, a real smile, a smile of pure joy and relief, at being seen and understood.
" Let this be the light that guides me through the dark, " He agreed.
" How about parabatai, " She asked him. The person who knows you best in the world, who sees into your soul and loves every piece of it.
" From agape to philia? " He asked her. " I don't want to end up like Emma and Jules. "
" Are we really like them? " She said. She did not feel so. And the bond wasn't like that for them. There would be no rune, no vows, just two people who saw each other for their true selves.
" We can be whoever we wish to be, " He agreed.
" So parabatai, " She said, holding out her hand.
He looked into her eyes to check if she was really sure about this. She had never been more sure. She let him see all of her heart in her eyes. Something settled in his eyes and they softened. He changed before her eyes, turning from a cynical Faerie boy, to a hopeful boy who wanted to be loved.
" Parabatai , " He said, placing her hand in hers.
It was so stupid, but it felt as binding as a covenant. Their personal covenant, she thought. She would never want for anything more now that she had found him. They would make the most of whatever time they had. Time couldn't change what they felt when they were around each other. No one and nothing could change what this boy was for her and who he would continue to be.
" There is no end to our story,(2) " She quoted.
" They had an ordinary life full of ordinary things, if love can ever be called that,(3) " He quoted back.
Her soulmate, the one who understood her books, understood her music. A forever lived in one night. No fairytale could compare to this. This... This feeling of completeness, of being loved. So imperfect and out of the ordinary yet so beautiful. That night shone on both of them full of starlight. Onto the forever they had created.
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A/N : The quotes in this chapter are taken from the following books :
(1) - City of Glass
        ( Cassandra Clare)
(2) - Shadow and Bone
        ( Leigh Bardugo)
(3) - Ruin and Rising
        ( Leigh Bardugo)