a collection of my own work

bffs

A/N: too tired to proofread. bleh :P

🧸

"emmaline!" i cried out as i ran around the warm metal pole. it was 73 degrees with clear skies and blisteringly hot playground equipment. my best friend was running from me as we played tag. my best friend fell into the wood mulch bound to stick splinters and scrape knees. i poked her, giggled, and teased, "got you." as she began to wail, i felt immense guilt. an overwhelming amount of apologizing slipped out of me. she shook her head and shakily folded up her leg, pointing her bloodied red knee to the blue sky. "my knee!" she stuttered. there were little wood chips punctured throughout it. i looked around, my eyebrows furrowed as i watched our two teachers run over and pick up her tiny body. "sienna, come with. tell me what happened while we're on the way to the nurse's office. miss hensley, would you mind bringing the kids inside for the rest of recess? we don't want any more accidents today," i heard through em's and my short gasps and breaths from crying. i watched miss hensley's head, a fleshy peach and brown blob, nod and run back towards the class that was now silently staring.

i turned back around and we were back inside the building, steadily marching down the hallway straight to the office. i so desperately wanted to snatch emmaline from my teacher's arms and run her there myself. we were going too slow. i thought, she needs help now. why are we so slow?

my teacher nudged me with her voice. "what happened, hun?"

"i don't- i don't know. we were just playing. i swear that's it, missus. we were playing tag and she fell!"

"it's okay, breathe. i know you didn't do anything."

i was at her house. the room was casually decorated with stickers, gems, rainbows. pink walls. the usual lisa frank inspired room. i remember. i would. she was obsessed. not only with that aesthetic, but with boys. she was rambling on about some boy named liam. "he gave me a note! he was asking if i was okay, and gave me some chocolate. he's just so cute," she exclaimed with her high-pitched voice as she winced. i was replacing her bandaid on her knee, brown blood covering the wound. i was angry, for some reason. i don't know why. i was trying not to aggressively smack the bandage on and just walk back home. she praised me. "thank you, sammie!" i melted a little bit. i ultimately decided to stay. "ey.. enough about him.. show me your new sticker book."

now, we're on the bus. it's shaky and rubbery-smelling. she's talking about another boy. my knee is bobbing up and down as i listen, waiting for a time to butt in. "and, gosh, y'know? that feeling you get when you have a crush. it's exhilarating, really. but, like, exhausting. he's so perfect to look at and he smells so good. but i have to use all of my energy being around him. i'm always worried about if like—what if i embarrass myself?!" i nod tiredly but also try to make it look like i'm interested. i'm not getting why she's telling me this. i haven't really... been in a good relationship. not a real one. i can't give her advice. the majority of the boys i meet are ugly. and who am i kidding? all of them are. they're so annoying. i've apparently been playing thumb wars with myself, the only thing to blame my sweaty hands on. one raises instinctively to my lips, nibbling on my thumbnail yet being subconsciously careful not to bite.

"hey, wait.. sienna, your lip is bleeding." i look up at her with slightly wide eyes. "oh, is it? it must've been my, uh, nail biting." i put my hand down. "no, your lips are dry and cracked," she says, biting her lip with worry. "kay, hold on," she requests as she rummages around her black jansport backpack. suddenly, there are three lip products in her hand. a lip gloss, a simple chapstick, and a lip oil. i still don't know the actual difference between a lip gloss and lip oil, so i ask. "well, one is.. oil? i don't know. i don't care. just choose one. or however many you want," she responds. so impatient. i squint at her before examining my choices and point at the reddish tinted lip oil. she grabs it with her free hand and tosses the others back in her bag.