ᵇⁱˡˡⁱᵉ ⁻ ⁿᵃⁿᵃ ⁻ ˢʰⁱⁿⁱᶜʰⁱ ᵒᵏᵃᶻᵃᵏⁱ

³

³

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ

ᵉᵖⁱˢᵒᵈᵉ ¹⁹

ⁿᵃⁿᵃ'ˢ ᵖʳⁱᶻᵉ

✧

Billie understood the struggles and the hardships of being an artist in this industry.

The worst thing she had to face it alone.

Trapnest was a band that they could depend on each other however, it was a very toxic dynamic before members were together. It almost made her glad that she was a solo so much better than all four of them.

Ren.

He definitely changed the band and made it what it is now. His songs, his lyrics is something she envy's.

"too intoxicated to be scared"

She sat on the sofa, couch with her notebook in hand, writing new lyrics for a new album. She has been doing so much better.

Of course, without Takumi at her neck.

Him being a producer definitely changed everything for the band and created more phenomenon with the other band members.

Everything about him just seems so calculated and well put together. It was like he was a mathematician, making sure every number was in the correct place and that there were no errors.

It all felt very well calculated.

For someone like her, it does bother a lot, knowing that someone can dictate every move.

In a way it really cramps her style.

"i don't need a xanny to feel better"

Why was that statement such a lie to her?

Mainly, it's because she can't live without the pills that Takumi gives to her. It feels almost heartbreaking, knowing that she can't live without it.

Every time she doesn't get her fix something weird about her changes.

She sighed scratching and continuously riding more lyrics to her new song she was creating. It's such a tedious task, songwriting. To put her life on the line on paper for millions to hear her lyrics.

Does her audience even understand her lyrics?

It makes her think a lot if they even care about what she's singing about or if it's just all blind devotion towards her.

"nobody's ever sorry"

She could hear the fun that the band mates were having an each other playing cards. She really wanted to join them, but she knows that Takumi would get mad with her.

She better listen to him right about Ren's mistake then get upset with her wanting to play cards.

God, she doesn't know why she still with him?

She sighed again rubbing her temples looking at her lyrics once more wondering if this is something her label would even allow her to produce.

"Fuck the label." She said getting a drink from the fridge.

As she drank, she continuously was writing more lyrics for this new album, and especially for the new song she was singing softly to herself.

"make the same mistakes, blame circumstance"

The outcome of her lyrics were making her truly happy knowing that this could be a full-fledged song that she was able to produce without worrying if the label would like it or not.

It's the reason why she loves her tours so much.

It was the only time in place where she was allowed to be herself fully.

Listening to all of her fans, sing her songs and not having to go on any of those weird dates that the label makes her go on. Occasionally, she would have to deal with, Takumi. It was rare to see him, due to him always working.

This definitely wasn't one of those moments.

His bandmates knew what was happening, it doesn't affect them if they get what they want.

16 more shows to go through.

More of Takumi being cruel, his ways, ideas, all of it come 1st. It doesn't matter what Billie thinks.

"i can't afford to love someone"

✧

"Billie!"

She woke to see Takumi with a cigarette. He was holding her notebook that held her lyrics.

"New songs?" He asked looking at the lyrics.

He sat on the couch with her, he put an arm around her making her closer to him. She could smell his expensive cologne and feel his long hair, touching her face and neck.

"For the new album." She said taking a drag from his cigarette.

He nodded and hmm at the song ideas. It always bothers him that she was such a better singer and songwriter. She closed her eyes and leaned in his warmth.

Is it wrong to love him?

Moments like this, make her rethink everything about him. It was almost so intoxicating, knowing that he could be such a sweet and caring guy. The reason why he gets so aggressive, maybe it's because it's her fault.

thank you