Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
It's been about two months since the whole Kendall situation happened and I can feel myself going back to the old me. I've been attending therapy regularly, Zion coming with me a few times to tell me about her encounters with Kendall as well.
When she first told me I was angry, not only at Kendall but at myself for not noticing anything. Thankfully we were able to talk through it in one session and it seemed to bring us closer.
The only thing still looming over my head is the fact that I don't know if I'm pregnant or not, and if I am whether I want to keep it.
I would love to have another baby, I just don't want any traces of the disgraceful man in my child. Bae enough Keziah looks like him.
And Taraji, I thank God for her everyday. She's been so patient and caring with me. Taking care of the kids when I have my bad days and still catering to me even when I'm mentally and physically okay. Being a caregiver is something that's natural for her and it's so beautiful.
"Baby!! I got ice cream!" I heard her yell out, knocking me out of my thoughts.
"Thank you Mama, come sit." I said as I turned around to sit sideways on the couch, giving us the space to face each other.
"Here you go, how you feeling?" She asked as she handed me my bowl. She got me cookies and cream with chocolate syrup drizzled over the top and more cookie crumbles on top as well.
"I'm great baby. This ice cream is definitely going to whoop my ass later though." I said taking a spoonful of hers and eating it. She had french vanilla with some toffee chips and caramel drizzled over the top.
"Eww gassy booty." She said jokingly as she scrunched up her face. I laughed and rolled my eyes before feeling a strong wave of nausea come over me.
"You okay?" She asked after seeing me pause.
"Nauseous." I said as I grabbed my water and took a sip.
"You take the test yet?" She inquired causing me to shake my head no.
"Too nervous." I said as I started eating my ice cream. Thankfully the nausea went away and I could enjoy it.
"You're taking one after we finish. I'll sit in there with you." She said sternly making me sigh.
"What if it's positive?" I said sitting the bowl in my lap.
"Its your body baby. Whatever you want can be arranged, and if it's negative then that's one less thing you have to worry about." She said as she set her bowl down as well, grabbing my hands to give her comfort.
"But, I want another baby. Just not his baby." I sighed looking down.
"Then let's pray it's negative so we can have our own." She said making me look back up quickly.
"Don't look at me like that. If I was a man you would've been pregnant with my baby already." She said making me laugh.
"You're right. Let's finish this so I can take the test." I replied letting her hands go. We ate our ice cream and talked a little more before finishing up and taking our bowls into the kitchen.
After loading them in the dishwasher we ventured upstairs and I went straight into the bathroom. Over the course of these last two months I practically moved in with Taraji, my own home holding painful memories I can't shake just yet.
I opened the drawer I designated as mine and took out a pregnancy test I bought two weeks ago. I took a deep breath before going over to the toilet to finally pee this damned stick.
True to her word, Taraji sat in the bathroom with me the entire time. I capped off the test and set it to the side before wiping myself and flushing the toilet. I went over to the sink and washed my hands, trying to fight the nervousness flowing through my body.
I felt Taraji place her hand in my waist before stepping behind me to give me a hug, my heart fluttering at her thoughtfulness to not just pop up behind me and scare me.
"Calm down baby. Everything's going to be okay." She muttered in my ear before kissing the side of my neck. A familiar heat rushed through my body for the first time in these last two months, making me close my eyes and savor the moment.
I leaned back into her as she kept placing light kisses on any part of my exposed skin, light rocking back and forth until the test beeped, indicating that the results were in.
I reached over and grabbed it, quickly turning it over and thanking God that it was negative.
"Oh thank you Lord." I rushed out with a sigh as I set the test back down.
"Now that that's settled." I said turning around, wrapping my arms around her neck.
"Let's go practice making our own, hm?" I said biting my bottom lip softly as I stared up at her.
"It would be my pleasure." She smirked before quickly bending down and throwing me over her shoulder. I laughed and squealed as she held onto me tightly.
"Baby I am too big for this! Put me down!" I laughed as I tried to get off of her.
"Nah, you're just right baby." She said planting a firm smack on my behind, causing me to moan rather loudly.
"Now, let's practice making that baby like you said."
