After Hours

Im sorry

733 WORDS

- BILLS POV-

I stop, not moving a muscle, or speaking a word.

I take it out of her, getting off the bed, a single tear running down my face as I head to the bathroom, I shut the door, breaking down on the ground in realization to what I had just done.

I start to run a shower, as I step in I start weeping immediately. I grab a scrub brush and immediately start scrubbing

I am scrubbing so hard, my skin is turning raw as I'm scrubbing it off. it hurts so bad but I cant stop, I cant stand myself for what I had done. 

-TIME SKIP 10 MINS- 

I step out the shower, finally collected. As I dry off and walk out, I can see Y/N sitting on the bed, as I see her I start to tear up again as I walk to my closet.

I put on a pair of PJ shorts and walk out to back to where the bed is. I sit on the edge of the bed facing the opposite way as Y/N, knowing shes naked.

"do you want to shower..?" I ask quietly

"um yes.. where is it?" she says with a sniffle in her voice. "you see the opening behind the bed? that's a hall, go down the hall past the little living room type area and the shower is the room beside.. When you're done, can we talk?" I ask her as i finish my sentance "yes.."

she gets up and leaves, I sit there looking down at the ground as she passes by.

-Y/N POV-

I walk by him, he cant look me in my eyes, he cant even look at me. he knows what he did is wrong.

I go around the hotel room, finally I find the bathroom, going into the bathroom I start running the water.

I haven't shown emotion yet, I haven't cried since my face was under that pillow, I cant be upset, or happy, or anything.

-Time skip, shes done the shower-

I walk out the bathroom, going into bills closet, all of his shirts are so tight, as he is anorexic and very slim. I put on one of his shirts, it hugs my figure perfectly, but there's no bras to hide my nipples. he doesn't have any shorts, just tight jeans, as I look down I see a small pile of sweatpants, bills sweatpants.

I put a pair on and walk out 

"I borrowed some of your clothes, I hope you don't mind I didn't want to get back into my clothes." I say to bill, still showing zero emotion

"I don't mind, you can keep them.. are we going to talk now?" bill says, his voice trembling.

I sit down on a stool close to the bed that bills sitting on

"yeah I guess" 

Bill almost immediatley breaking down "I'm so sorry, you.. you made me feel so special"

he weeps on the ground "your just so beautiful, it felt like you actually wanted me for who I was and what I looked like, not just a fan but a real person... I have always struggled with my body image, you were so genuine.. it had been too late you already had the drugs in your system" 

 I started at him, I understood him on the genuine love but I didnt know why he did the rest.

"I knew you were drugging me the second the drink hit my mouth, I tasted it. but being a female I have common knowledge, I held it in my mouth as I lifted my glass up pretending to drink it but I slowly spat it out. when you looked away I spilled it on the rug behind my chair." 

"I was awake the entire time bill" 

those words repeating like a looped video into bills ears

"I don't know why I did that. I hadn't ever done anything like that  before"

bill says, getting off of his knees.

"well, you said it yourself "you're just a man" bill, you cant help it.." dumbest shit I have ever heard

he nods. climbing on the bed laying down sobbing quietly

"please don't leave me tonight, I need you.." bill says facing the other way.

I don't know what he's capable of, I walk to the bed and sit beside his body that's laying sidways 

"what do you expect me to do about that?"

I ask him, confused.

"are you mad at me?" bill asks, ignoring the question.

I answer coldly  "I.. i don't know"