Cold as Ice: The Heart of Stone

Chapter 41 - Smoothies & Melons

I'm not sure what the fuck is going on. Every confusing feeling swirling round in my head, almost seemed to much but I will never let that show. Fuck all the stuff with therapy. Some stuff I just simply will not let show.

Maybe if my brain spontaneously combusted it would be easier than trying to control this.

The silence was almost to unbearable as Travis turned the TV to mute, sensing my hidden anxiety from just across. Brother's...pain in the arse but they can see a lot more than anyone gives them credit for.

Naturally I lifted my free hand to my mouth and nibble at the skin around my nails as I pace. I'm not in a habit of biting my nails but the skin is fried from the habit I just can't kick and really, I'm just worried to where this conversation could lead to being as out of the blue as it is. I apparently haven't had any communication with Leah since the Everton match and even though I was told numerous times that she was always in the hospital to see me, it doesn't change the fact that I didn't know that and then one day...she just stopped. Granted, through no fault of my own. But why the contact now? Tonight if all nights.

If there is any conversation, that is.

"Le?" I repeat myself in the hope that I have actually not been butt-dialled. I cleared my throat to try and throw off my worried tone.

"Leah, are you there?"

No matter what happens, I always want Leah to be okay.

"Long legs butt-dial then?" I hear Trav shout across with a laugh, I'm guessing at the nickname he gave Leah years ago and maybe also in an attempt to try humour the situation but as soon as I pick up launch the closest thing in my hand towards his head, he got the memo pretty quick with his little side comments.

Izzy will kill me for breaking that photo frame.

With a massive sigh and a heavy feeling in my heart, I was about to hang up, excepting my fate of the accidental call...but then I heard a sniff along with some shuffling. "Rori, I...I...I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm calling, it's stupid." Her voice disappeared into a whisper as I quickly snapped myself out of thinking this is the first time I have heard Leah's real voice in months. I remember what she sounds like but my heart decided to tug on its own as my stomach made a b-line to the ground.

"I give great advice on stupid stuff, it's a specialty."

What the fuck?

Smacking my head I instantly regretted the words that left my mouth. I used to have way more chat than that. I could say literally anything and that's what I chose which was indubitably the absolute wrong thing to say. "No—sorry—not that it's stupid, It's not...I'm sure...just..." I stop myself and hold the phone to my shoulder while looking up at the celing. Be on my side? I can't even look at Travis, I know he is laughing into a pillow or some shit.

Fuck it. Putting the phone back to my ear I hear a faint ragged laugh as I head upstairs. Knowing Leah as well as I do, I know she is trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry for babbling but Le, what is it? What's wrong? You're worrying me." The panic spitting from me is something I'm trying to dial down, but I can't help it. I sit myself onto the edge of the bed, nervously waiting for a response while also thinking there are so many other people she could have called in this moment.

Why me? Where's her little girlfriend?

"I just...I can't...it's not..." Her breathing turning erratic has me on edge as she stuttered mumbled words. It wasn't until I looked down that I noticed blood dripping from my fingers to my leg. I haven't know Leah to have a panic attack in years.