Dissolution • Taylor swift and Harry styles

Chapter 19, confession

Taylor's perspective

I've been working up the courage to tell Harry about the pregnancy in the last couple of days. I know I was supposed to tell him on Saturday after the party, but Ive must've fallen asleep, and the last days have been so sweet I didn't want to ruin the moments. I know I need to tell him, I know it. I'll tell him by lunch.

I've been writing some poetry the last days, I used to write a lot but I kinda grew out of it. I've been writing about me and Harry, and how great things are right now. Harry's home all the time, and we spend our days lying in the summer sun, swimming and playing the guitar together. I've gotten pretty good at the guitar and some times I try to turn my poetry to songs, music is kind of Harry's thing tho, so I don't play too loud.

One of Taylor's poems "Sweet nothing" about how Harry doesn't have any expectations for her:

I spy with my little tired eye
Tiny as a firefly
A pebble that we picked up last July
Down deep inside your pocket
We almost forgot it
Does it ever miss Wicklow sometimes?

They said the end is coming
Everyone's up to something
I find myself running home to your sweet nothings
Outside, they're push and shoving
Your in the kitchen humming
All that you ever wanted from me was sweet nothing

Noon is coming up and I'm getting more and more nervous. I already know Harry's thoughts on this, but there's a piece in me that's hoping he might change his mind now that I'm actually pregnant.

I eventually rise up and head outside where Harry is sitting. I do as if it's by command. My legs are shaking as I walk, I can't control it.

Harry's sitting scrolling on his phone when I reach him by the ledge of the patio.

"Harry" I say quietly. He turns around and his eyes light up as he sees me. He smiles with a cigarette in his mouth, reaching out a hand for me. I accept it and sit beside him. He throws his cigarette away, as he knows I'm not the biggest fan of it, before throwing his hand around me, me almost laying in the corner of his arm. "Yes love" he answers kissing me at the top of my head. "There's something I need to tell you."

"Go ahead"

"You know how we talked about you not being ready to start a family yet?" I continue, my voice on the verge of tears. I feel his grip around me loosen slightly. My heart breaks when he does, he has realised.

"I.. I'm pregnant"

No response. No response at all.

I sit up straight, not daring to look him in the eyes. I'm scared they'll be on flames. I hear him sigh before finally responding. "I already told you what I feel about it. There's nothing that can change my opinion, but it's your body, your choice." He says, voice firm.

He hasn't changed his mind. My heart is about to burst. "I know, I know. Of course." I say, my voice is barely Audible. I'm fighting back tears.

Harry hugs around me from the side, stroking my cheek. "But I'm not gonna force you to do anything you don't want to." He assures me.

I know it's only a Fetus right now, but the thing that's growing in me could have been our child. Our legacy. My baby. But I know i cant keep it. I totally understand Harry's perspective.

"Will you come with me?" I say, my voice is now drowned by tears. He nods "of course I will. Of course."

We sit there for a while. In complete silence, just the three of us and my tears.

After about ten minutes I can't stand it anymore. I tell Harry I'm going to bed and leave him there. I can't handle sitting there pretending it's what I want. Cause it's not. I want to keep this baby. So bad. But I only want to keep it with him. I know I can't have both.

I barely make it to the bedroom before just collapsing. I sit on the floor sobbing. I'm about to kill the thing I want the most. A living creature inside of me. This child won't get a chance at life. It'll just be thrown away as unnecessary trash.

But I will go through with it. I must. It's what's best for him. For us.

Writers note:
Sorry for making this chapter so sad, but that's life I guess😅 hope you're enjoying so far!