The Bad Guy

IIII: With Love

"I'm sorry, you did what?! God, I need a cigarette. Scratch that, I need a glass of whiskey." Olivia exclaimed, aggressively clutching her iced coffee.

It was noon on a Monday. Olivia was having her daily pastry and beverage at Baked with Love, Diana's workplace. The storefront was pastel pink, adorable all over, and a magnet for foodie influencers. Diana's boss, Sam, had intentionally designed the space to be a glorified photo op, serving as selfie bait and becoming a money-making machine. Baked with Love had been so popular on the internet it made the top 20 list of best bakeries in the city. Diana admired Sam's business savvy, but admired how well Sam paid her more.

Diana was on her lunch break, sitting with Olivia at one of the bakery's mismatched vintage tables. Flour covered her apron and invaded her fingernails; she spent the morning baking endless batches of their viral cookie dough croissants that the masses had already nearly sold out. Despite her exhaustion, Diana was recounting the weekend's events to Olivia. "I know, I never expected to see him of all people at your opening. Maybe it was fate. Maybe we were meant to find each other again." She took a sip of her matcha latte as she thought of Alejandro's eyes, blue like sea foam and seemingly infinite.

Olivia stared at her skeptically. "Di, I love you, you know I do. It is because I love you that I promised to always be honest with you. No bullshit."

"It's okay, V. Ale said we wouldn't be anything serious, no feelings. I understand that."

"But that's the problem, Di. You did have feelings for him at one point, you just never acted on them. Don't you remember how he used to make you feel? All of the confusion and rejection? Do you think you're ready to go through it all again?"

"This time is different. And who knows, maybe it won't end in rejection. Maybe this time he'll fall in love."

"You've known him for over a decade, though. He's never been in love with you. It's Cora that he loved, that he never moved on from, that he used you to get over. I'm just scared he's using you again, that's all."

Diana took a moment to consider her best friend's advice. What if this was stupid? What if it ended in catastrophe, complete with flames, destruction, and heartbreak? Part of her was scared. Part of her knew she'd get hurt, and yet felt as though she deserved it. Diana was always looking for ways to retroactively harm herself; she felt as if she had to hold herself accountable, forever punishing her own body as a form of karmic justice. "Liv, if it hurts, it hurts, and then you can say I told you so. I just need the distraction."

Olivia took a bite of her cookie dough croissant, feeling flakes fall onto her lap. "Right, how could I forget the Julio fiasco. Wanna explain your reasoning behind that again? And no, 'I just felt like it' will not work like it did at the gallery. You ambushed me then!" She said with bits of cookie on her lips, wiping her face with a pastel blue napkin.

"I don't know, V. It came from a place of anger, I guess. It was everything; his new girlfriend, our old relationship, my infidelity, all that we had been through. I was just disgusted at myself and at him and at the idea of dragging this out for as long as we did. I had to beg him to love me once, do you remember that? When I was seventeen and looking for someone to belong to. We've come so far since then. I think the years just started to weigh on me for the first time; I didn't want to lie anymore." Diana's face swelled with the threat of hot, burgeoning tears. She glanced at her watch; lunch was over.

Grabbing Diana's hand, Olivia soothingly massaged her palm. "You have been through so much, Di. Give yourself some grace. At least you laid it all out for him, you're free of it now. It's time to heal." Rising from their seats, Olivia threw away her trash and gave Diana one of her special hugs. Staring lovingly into her eyes, Olivia said, "Now get back to work! I have spreadsheets to make and you have croissants to bake! Bring me one tonight, by the way. I don't know how you do it, they taste practically orgasmic!" Diana laughed, feeling the cloud over her head slowly drift away.