The Waning (GojoHime) - Part 2

Until Death Do Us Part

It was slow to creep in: A prickling self-awareness that turned into the humiliating realization that she had acted like the epitome of a headless chicken. Rushing into enemy territory, afraid that Gojo would succumb to mindless rage, that Naoya would manage to corner him, that Michizane would do anything to cause a bloodbath, seemed like a very stupid thing to do now that Utahime stood across from a radiant Gojo who looked devastatingly handsome and awe-inspiring in traditional clothing and was the most put-together she had ever seen him.

A wave of heat flushed her cheeks. Why did a part of her still cling to the image of Gojo as that annoying, cocky teenager who'd so frequently gotten under her skin? The years had passed him by, leaving behind a powerful sorcerer at the pinnacle of Jujutsu Sorcery. He didn't need her to babysit him. He didn't need her to complicate things for him. And he sure didn't need anyone to stand in his way.

Funny though. How many nights had she tortured herself trying to figure out what to do with her complicated feelings for him when it was so very apparent and clear what she ought to be doing? It wasn't complicated at all.

But then he said "What is this Binding Vow?" and she almost died on the spot. For several agonizing seconds, Utahime felt like she was free falling, the air rushing past her in a deafening roar. This couldn't be happening! If her truth-lie was discovered, it would be the undoing of everything!

"Ah, you've forgotten too," Gojo added. She felt something tug at her heart when he moved his fingers between them as if stroking an invisible cord. "You and me," he explained, looking inexplicably happy, "there is a new Binding Vow between us but we both cannot remember, it seems."

To her greatest relief he wasn't referring to the fake-vow between her and Michizane. Of course not. Even someone as powerful as him couldn't see something that wasn't there (right?). Her life's most consequential lie was her burden to bear, hers alone.

Utahime looked down to where his fingers played with the air, her thoughts spinning wildly as she attempted to understand. She had no ability to see a binding vow like the bearer of the Six Eyes, but a deep certainty bloomed within her that one was in place: Now that she attempted to see, she felt it. It was the cause of a comforting warmth that was running through her limbs, the cause of a calming self-assuredness. Had Gojo proposed such a thing? That seemed unlikely, because there was nothing someone as powerful as him could gain from a binding vow with someone as weak as her, yet the alternative—that she had initiated it and he had agreed—was equally perplexing.

She probed the tether between them, but whatever it was, it clearly didn't want to be questioned. She decided she would best let it be as long as no harm came to her.

Gojo stepped closer to put an arm around her. How warm he was. Warm and solid and great to lean against. The mere thought of causing him distress, of shattering whatever unseen bond existed between them, filled her with a sense of anguish and she felt a strong surge of protectiveness at the same time. He must have agonized over her well-being after the events of the previous day. They needed to talk about it, she realized, she needed to lay bare her fears and suspicions. If anyone could help, it was him.

"That 'child' I lost? That wasn't yours," she blurted out, the words tumbling from her lips in a rush.

In that corridor of the Zen'in estate that looked and felt so much like Gojo's own, she hurried to explain the bizarre explanation she had concocted for what had happened to her—a tale of being impregnated by a nightmare, a notion that sounded like the ravings of a madwoman even in their world where the impossible was often reality. But she had to make him understand. She wasn't crazy!

The sadness in his eyes threatened to shatter her resolve, his expression a reflection of the unacknowledged pain she felt deep in her soul. "You have to believe me," Utahime pleaded, burying her face against his chest. "I didn't sleep with anyone else after we broke up, I swear."