The Seventh Element

Chapter Eleven

The Lux High Mage walked away, leaving us nova to the task at hand. I was almost a head taller than the Lux nova and though I knew he wasn't happy, he hadn't protested either.

"High Sun told us to soak up the light and let it flow to our fingertips. You can't do that like a Lux can of course but channel your power from here-" he pointed at his heart and allowed his hand to trail from his arm to his fingers, "to here. Once you can feel the power in your grasp, you'll be able to get it to do what you want instead of the other way around," Camillo explained, unable to hide the condescension in his voice though we were the same in age and experience.

I ignored it, however, focusing on getting myself under control as I had learned. After a moon of daily practice, I could do it easily enough under normal circumstances. I took a bit longer here, surrounded as I was by unpleasant strangers. After a few moments, I felt calm enough to begin. Slowly, I urged my power from where it resided in my chest to extend to my fingertips. My power was reluctant, seemingly content where it was and unwilling to budge; it felt like trying to roll a large snowball up a hill, but I kept at it.

I wanted, needed this to work.

By now, I had seen that even the wildest nova could tame their abilities. It was that control that really allowed an elemental to grow their power from all of that raw, untapped potential. I didn't necessarily want that, but I knew I couldn't leave things just as they were. I didn't want to live the rest of my life in fear of my power. I wanted to regain control of my life sooner rather than later.

At last, I felt a shift like a river breaking free of ice during a thaw. There was a rush of energy that swept down my arms to pool in my hands. I opened my eyes and released my breath in an icy cloud.

Camillo looked at me, unimpressed. "Well, is it working or not?"

"Yes." I nodded.

"Now that the power is in your hand, get the power to actually form here," he instructed. He demonstrated by his palm lighting up and then focusing into a beam of light. In a moment, the beam hovered over his open palm and turned into a miniature sun, glowing brightly.

This was similar to what I'd seen Rip do that very first day and I couldn't help wishing I were with Aqua instead. Though, I knew that wouldn't work for them or for me. At least here I didn't have to worry about freezing light and disrupting the entire class. I could focus on getting my element to cooperate. After the difficulty of getting it to respond at all, I knew I would need it.

At first, it seemed hopeless.

My power refused to do what I wanted. Not a tingle of frost, gust of wind or even a single snowflake. What was I doing wrong? I didn't know but I refused to give up. Whether I was just tired after my earlier struggle or if the pressure of performing was getting to me, I at last had to call it quits or rather, had it called for me when the Lux High Mage ended class for the day.

So focused was I that I had completely missed the light fading from the sky and with nothing to show for it. Was this really all I had to offer?

"All that time and no progress made?" the Lux High Mage asked, disapproving.

I was tempted not to answer but I didn't want to provoke the High Mage and he might have something useful to offer. "I can feel the power in my hands, but it just won't come!" I stared at my open palms, exasperated.

"Of all the years I've been a mage, I've yet to see anyone unable to do the most basic of things. Your power wants to be used and grow with you. If you're having trouble accessing them, the problem is you, not your powers," the Lux High Mage said.

Had I been capable of it, I would have laughed. He wasn't telling me anything I didn't already know. I was the problem, but the proposed solution wasn't doing me much good, either. Though, I didn't say any of that out loud, merely exiting the Lux training floor, eager to get away from my failure.

As I did, I found myself surrounded by Aria students, their training floor just above Lux.

One of the Aria nova fell into step beside me. He gave me a friendly smile. "Hello there! I've never seen you up here before. You usually train with Nox, right?"

"Chase!" one of the fifth year Lux girls snapped. "Get over here, now!"

"Coming!" Chase responded with a big, goofy grin on his face as if he hadn't been reprimanded just for talking to me.

I didn't let that bother me though. I was more concerned as we fell in with the Ignis class. My anxiety spiked and my body responded in kind. I could feel my body growing that much colder than it had been just a moment ago and there was nothing I could do about it.

"Can't you control yourself yet?" the Ignis nova girl snapped.

"Didn't you hear? He can't. He was sent to us to train after the Noxious failed, and even we can't help him," the third year Lux girl said.

"He's hopeless," the fourth year Lux girl scoffed.

The students around me burst into laughter though the Aria were a little late as if they didn't quite get the joke.

This would have stung but I let it wash over me. It wasn't like I could fight back or even wanted to. All I could do was keep walking. When we reached Nox's floor, I found Vic waiting for me.

He hugged me.

"You waited for me," I said.

"Of course, I did. Things didn't go as planned, eh? Let's wait to talk about it back at the dorm. I'm sure the others'll want to hear all about it," Vic said.

The walk back no longer felt bleak or lonely and soon it was just the two of us as we entered the dorm. It was a relief to be in familiar surroundings again, with the happy voices of my friends to welcome and comfort me. Over dinner, I told them about my day. They had mixed reactions to how I was treated: disgust, unhappiness, and sympathy but no surprise.

"And how did you handle it?" Vera, one of the third-year girls, asked.

I sighed. "Not well. I mean, it wasn't really their treatment of me. High Sun treated me like an inconvenience and Camillo treated me with condescension, but I expected that, and it didn't bother me. I had a bit of a breakthrough in connecting with my power but there's still something getting in the way of me actually using it. High Sun said the problem was me and I believe him."

"He shouldn't have to go back to that, right, Val?"

"Do you feel like you'll make more progress with Lux, or do you want to try something else?" Val asked me.

"Despite how I was treated, I did make progress. I'd like to go back, for now," I answered.

"Alright but if you're still struggling then tell me so we can figure out what to do next, together."

I nodded. "I will."