And All My Devotion Turns Violent

Prologue

I never thought about the fact that I might have to actually block my ex on everything in order to move on in a proper and healthy manner. We ended amicably... No, really. We did. We had to, we were friends first, and the rule was always that if we dated and it ended, it had to end well so that our friends didn't find the need to take sides, so that's exactly what we did. We'd been together for four years, suffice to say that some of our friendships had become intertwined - not all of them, we weren't attached at the hip. We traveled in different social circles.

She was the head cheerleader, the socialite, the popular girl who had everyone falling at her feet, and I was... Her weird girlfriend. Her 'charity case' so to speak... She hated when people said that to her.

I love you; it doesn't matter what other people think, I love you so much and that's all that matters. That was always what she told me, and she showed me it in a thousand different ways as well. Flowers every Friday, running for prom queen with me and being fine when she lost because at least she got to do it next to me... In all ways, she'd been the perfect partner.

So why break up? I know that's the question on your mind... College. College is why. It got in the way. She got a cheerleading scholarship at a good school, and I decided to go to our local state school. She tried to turn down the offer so that we could go to school together, and the only way to get her to go was to break up with her. Do I still love her?

Of course I do... Callie Imran is not a girl that someone falls out of love with, or if someone does, they're a complete idiot. Long, thick black hair, a large nose with a gold ring, light brown skin, thick eyebrows, deep brown eyes that felt like they held the universe in them, and a smile that could light up a football field... She looked perfect, her body toned from years of sports, a few inches taller than me, something she'd always taunt me about.

Not to mention, she's sweet as a pile of sugar, at least with me... I heard stories about how she could be with other people, that she was mean and vindictive and hurtful, but that was never the side that I saw when she was laying in my arms in her bedroom, or explaining to her grandparents during a particularly loud conversation that she loved me no matter what when they were visiting from Pakistan... They didn't love having a lesbian granddaughter, and they'd never been quiet about that, but Callie didn't care. She loved me.

She wanted to marry me, I can still remember her whispering that against my shoulder one dark night in her bedroom when we were fourteen and still just two pining kids who were kissing under the guise of exploration.

If you were a boy, I'd tell my parents that I'm marrying you someday. The words rung in my ears even now, even as I'm fiddling with the locket that she gave me as a going away present, swearing that she would never fall out of love with me too...

I should've blocked her. Not because she was obsessive or texting me frequently... But because she wasn't reaching out at all, and it was driving me insane. I still had her location, I could see whenever she went out with other people, how she posted with girls on her Instagram, her TikTok, her snap story... I couldn't get my brain to let go of the fact that she was mine.

That's the problem.

That's what's led to my hands shaking, a bloodied rock in my hand as I stare down at girl crumpled under me, her blonde hair sticky with her own blood as I breathe heavily, tossing the rock to the side... What did she do? Great question.

She was kissing Callie when I snuck into a party on her campus... Had I bought a 300-dollar ticket across the country just to have the chance to have a face-to-face conversation with her? Yes. And did I maybe lose my cool when I saw someone's tongue down her throat as the ground against each other?

Yes.

Because Callie Imran is mine, and she always will be. I just needed to remind her of that, I needed to remind her that her heart belongs to me, even if I was the one who was stupid enough to end the relationship in the first place, I'm still committed.

And I'll do anything to get her back.

Anything.