And All My Devotion Turns Violent

Chapter Seven

Where r u? It's the middle of the night, u should be in bed.

And I should be, Bethany's absolutely right, but I'm not... No, I'm out on the town with another body under my belt.

This murder was a complete accident, I swear to God... Or at least I hope it was, because it would be a little bit batshit if I pushed someone into the river on purpose, right? Like, I just slipped... and my arms extended to catch myself... and instead of catching myself I ended up pushing Viv into the river off of a bridge in the middle of the night when we both happened to be out on a late-night run.

That sounds... Plausible, right?

There's no blood on my hands, so that makes it a lot more plausible. I pulled my phone back out of my pocket, brushing some hair out of my face as I typed out a response to Bethany.

Was out for a run, couldn't sleep. Heading back now.

I didn't even get to tuck my phone away before her response came in.

??? u hate running ???

I rolled my eyes and sighed... She knew me too well, but also fuck her, i could like running now... Things change over time, maybe being stuck in the land of the least predictable weather has stirred something in me.

It hadn't, but wouldn't that be such a good response?

Trying something new.

That should've shut her up, normally it would've... But she'd been more hyper aware of where I was and what I was doing since they found Regan's body, so of course she had a retort to that as well.

next time do it when the sun is out

Fair enough... That would also stop me from accidentally shoving another person in the river, right? Luckily, there's no way they'll find her body, the river has her now and that's the best thing for it. Wouldn't want to freak more people out by making them think there's a dangerous murderer on the loose.

I'm not dangerous, I'm just committed.

Devoted, some might say... I'm devoted in a very poetic way, I love her and no one else can have her, that's a totally normal mindset to have.

It was something that a lot of people seemed to romanticize, so that couldn't be wrong... Maybe I would eventually feel heavy at the fact that there was another life taken by my hands, but right now I feel... Remarkably calm. Anyone who was after Callie was gone now, and I can just exist.

Well... I can exist with the fear of whoever took Regan coming back for more... Whoever took Regan and killed her is a thousand times more terrifying than I'll ever be. There was clearly torture there, it was thought out, they wanted to hurt her... That was sick. I just wanted people gone. Are there better ways than killing someone?

Of course, but sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do, right?

I walked back towards the campus, feeling my brain sort of go fuzzy like it did the last time, like it was protecting me from really experiencing the guilt that I should have for my actions, which I appreciated - having no consequences for my actions was a good MO.

The lobby of my dorm building was silent, making me remarkably aware of the early morning as I snuck up to my floor, my feet trained on the ground as I tried my best to stay in my body so that I could smile at anyone who might bump into me... I could act tired, no one would be the wiser, and I-.

"Hey." I jumped, feeling aggressively real as I lifted my head, my heart racing in my chest when I saw Bethany leaning against my door, her arms crossed. She had her hair back in a headband and was dressed in her ratty old pajama pants and a tank top, a look she normally would never let leave her dorm.