And All My Devotion Turns Violent

Chapter Nine

Meet u after class.  B there or b square

That was all that was getting me through this English lecture was that I was gonna get to go and hang out with Bethany after this because neither of us had any more classes for the day... Otherwise I would've probably already jammed my pencil into the hand of the girl next to me, who kept finding any reason to talk to me.

Like... I could've excused one question about what we were doing, but she literally broke her pencil tip on purpose just so that she could tap me on the shoulder and give me a smile, practically batting her eyelashes at me.

Not interested.  Never gonna happen.

"Can I borrow a pencil from you?" She asked, and I nodded, reaching into my bag to hand her one of my shittier pencils, one that I wouldn't be mad if it did not make it back into my bag after class. I learned that trick in high school; shitty pencils go to unknown people, good pencils always stay with me. Saved me a lot of money.

I pressed it into her hand, grimacing when I felt her hand close around mine a bit, her eyes locked on mine. Ew.

"You can let go any time now, you know. You're missing valuable notes." I said, wanting to grab her chin and force her face back forward, but something tells me that that would give her the wrong impression, and that is the last thing that I want.

I came here to learn, not to be looked at - in fact, I never want to be perceived in my entire life, this is my own personal nightmare.

She sighed, resting her chin on her hand as she looked me up and down, like that was supposed to do something other than make my skin crawl, which it did not.

"You have enchanting eyes." I grimaced, shaking my head as I tried to look forward again, not wanting to stare at this creep for even a second longer, but she didn't look away.

You're determined, I'll give you that much.

"What an odd first thing to say to someone..." I mumbled, hoping that that would make it clear that I was uncomfortable and wanted her to fucking stop, but all she did was shrug and chuckle, nudging her foot with mine.

I'll cut my own foot off right here, don't test me.

"Well, I broke the ice, I asked you for a pencil first." Jesus Christ.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head as I gave her one last look, which seemed to raise her hope.

Yeah... Gonna dash that real quick, hope you don't mind.

"I'm not interested in whatever this is, just so you know." I said, thinking of Callie's soft smile and warm hands... She's everything, and while this girl isn't ugly, no one can hold a candle to her.

I watched her face fall, a conflicted expression on her face as she leaned away from my table. Amazing, maybe you can take the hint now, huh?

"You're straight, aren't you?" If I was not in class and not wanting to get kicked out, I would've actually laughed out loud as I shook my head.

There was not a single thing about me that screamed 'heterosexual and open for business', but people will think anything so long as it preserves their ego.

"Jesus no. Not at all, I'm not interested in you." That clarity would've been enough on any normal, respectful person, right?

Not this girl, because she took that as a personal slight, glaring at me as though I was insulting her very existence while being as clear as humanly possible, which wasn't my intent - I wanted to be respectful, she was the one who was ignoring the clear signs of my disinterest, which doesn't really seem like something that I should be bothering myself with.