My childhood is gone and I burnt it down just to feel the warmth.

10

2023 Buck is 24

Location: Honolulu Hawaii

"So were all saying he is perfectly fine?" Wolf says with worry as Buck is dancing, he is dancing to music something he doesn't do. "I mean he might like to sing but he don't dance, refused to dance at his wedding." Cage says with a horrified look on his face looking at the boy who just lost the only person who knew every single secret dancing. "This is scary." Steve says with the same look as the two others damn they are down to four of the original six alive and only three on the team and one having a mental breakdown. 

"Has he eaten?" Eddie whispers softly also mortified it being the night before the funeral as they all spy on Buck. "Tommy shoved half of a pancake down his throat this morning after three days without eating. Like actually blended it and shoved it down his throat kicking and screaming." Wolf mutters rolling his eyes when Buck makes eye contact with them they all bolt leaving Eddie high and dry. 

"What!" His tone catches Eddie off guard by the deepness and the rage it holds. "Just checking on ya." Buck rolls his eyes giving the babies a kiss on their head closing the doors the baby monitor clipped to his pants. "Just warning you since you have high enough clearance to know this, I am going undercover in LA with a racist gang so try to not walk up to me because if so I will either have to ignore you or because they are forcing me to be a hateful racist have to say some fucked up things whole reason Cage isn't allowed on this op." 

"Uh ok h-" Eddie doesn't get to finish his question when Buck walks off making him sigh the others come out of hiding with a shook look. "Wow he is worse than we thought." Clay says his jaw dropped letting out a small huff. "He skipped the screaming at people."

"Nope he has shut us out, no matter how hard you try no one is getting the truth out of him except-"

"Oli." Steve finishes sadly rubbing his face as everyone frowns when Brock sighs and looks at Tommy. "What bout him?" He asks making everyone snort at that shaking their heads. "Nope, he's one of the last people Buck will open up to, 'doesn't want to burden his husband with his demons.'" Wolf scoffs at that with a roll of the eyes crossing his arms at that boy thought process. 

"Evan where are you going?" Everyone hears Tommy ask trying not to be ignored grabbing Buck's waist as he hands over the baby monitor. "For a run babe be back in two hours, three tops love." He says placing a soft kiss on his lips making everyone sigh seeing him leave out the door when Steve raises a brow. 

Buck starts running, he runs and runs and runs when he finds himself at the beach the night replaying through his head like a tictok video on repeat. He hears his screams the sound of the bullet cracking his scull the blood splattering onto the sand, the sound of his chest cracking during the compressions the way his muscles ached after the 500th compression. 

He feels his body go limp in Steve's arms as they take Sharks body, the sound of Tommy and Danny running up. To him, Tommy holding him until the exhaustion took over his body making him fade into darkness. Buck finds himself finding the nearest illegal fight ring taking his shirt off as he smirks stepping into the ring.

He finds himself feeling at peace as his fists make contact with the other fighter ribs the satisfying sound of them cracking as the other fighter wheezes falling to his knees tapping out holding his torso making him scoff. Doing fight after fight easily a dozen the more he fights the more he feels peace wash over him.

'What are you doing you fucking idiot?' 

Buck hears Shark growl at him making him scoff shaking his head he has no right to be in Buck's brain. Not after he hurt him, not after Buck let bastard in and know every single deep dark secret for him to hurt him!