Pitieous

1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

Summer's POV

Have you ever felt like you are living in a dream and that you are too scared to wake up? Every time something good happens, you always expect something bad will happen after.

Last weekend with my grandparents was a turning point for me. After we came home, I felt so down and depressed because I was anticipating and waiting for something bad to happen. Even dad kept asking me what was wrong. I feel like I have to build some wall so that when the time comes when all these will be taken away, at least I won't get hurt.

I was quiet all throughout the drive until we reached home. I went to my room quickly and told them I wasn't eating dinner because I was exhausted. But really it was just an excuse.

I needed some time to deflect. I buried my face in the pillow and cried my heart out.

I heard a knock on the door.

"I just need some time to be alone please." I told the person on the other side of the door.

"When you are ready, you can talk to me." I heard my dad answered.

After I finished crying, I scrolled through the photos on my phone. My grandparents were really happy. Dad and Rose were happy and even Gem and Angus are growing in on me. What am I supposed to do when they're all gone???

At around 9PM after I finished showering, I heard another knock on my door.

"Come in..." I said.

The door opened and it was Rose with a glass of milk and a cookie.

"Hope this makes you feel better darling." She said.

I thanked her and she hugged me and we said goodnight. She also said that dad was at his office downstairs in case I needed to talk to him. I just nodded and Rose went.

I went downstairs to the kitchen to return the glass after I had finished drinking the milk. Coincidentally, dad was also in the kitchen getting himself something to drink.

"Hey kiddo..." He said.

"Hi." I greeted him.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked.

He can probably see that my face is all puffed and my eyes were red from all the crying I did this afternoon.

"I'm fine..." I answered. I still couldn't say the word dad to him.

"You know I love you as much as I love your brothers. And if only I could turn back time I would still choose to have you." He added.

My tears started falling again. My dad walked towards me and enveloped me into a big hug.

"I am so sorry for the things that you had to go through. But I am here now. I will never ever let anything happen to you as long as I am here." My dad promised.

I wanted to tell him I so scared but I couldn't form the words. We stayed like that for a few minutes. After I have calmed down. I have wiped my tears using my hand.

"Goodnight kiddo." My dad kissed my forehead.

"Goodnight dad..." There I finally said it.

I could see how happy my dad was after that. Then I went back to my room.

I unlocked my phone and I found 2 messages from Basti, my constant textmate.

Basti: Hello???

Basti: Are you ok???

Me: I will be.

Basti: u can talk to me any time u know?

Me: yeah... I guess I will get over it.