The lost Auras

Chapter 15

The rain doesn't let up, but I can't find it in myself to move. The cold seeps into my clothes, into my skin.
- What am I supposed to do. I don't know what to do, I say in my head. I blink against the raindrops. My body feels numb.
- He left me behind, I say. Saying the words out loud somehow makes it real. It snaps me out of my daze.
- I can't stay like this, I say in my head. I brush my wet hair away from my forehead as I stand on shaky legs. But where to go. I have no idea where Hydra went.
- Though he'd probably just kick me right back out onto the streets if he saw me, I say in my head.
- Layla's not an option either, I say. our last conversation didn't end so well. I'm not close enough to any other employees to consider asking for a place to stay.
- I don't want to bother Eryn or Nemean, I say. They would shelter me for the night, but I don't want to lean on any of Hydra's friends. I look down at my soaked clothes and sigh. The only person who would even think about talking to me right now is...
- Josh, I say.

Some time later I find myself on my brother's doorstep. I knock a few times, relieved when I hear movement from the inside. A familiar voice calls out to me.
- Yes, Josh asks.
- Josh, it's me, I say.
- What, Kira. he asks and the door swings open.
- What are you doing here so late at, he says but cuts himself off when he sees me, soaking wet and shivering. His puzzled face quickly changes to concern.
- Kira. Are you alright, he asks. I've never been so happy to see him.
- Josh, I say.
- You look like a drowned rat. Get in the shower right now and warm up, he says. He tries to bring me inside, but I grab his sleeve.
- Can you, just, I say as I trail off and look at him, a bit lost. Josh stares at me. Then, very gently, he enfolds me in a hug, uncaring that I'm wet from head to toe. I bury my face in his shoulder, and for a moment, I relish in the comfort my brother has to offer. Josh finally manages to get me inside, pushing me towards the bathroom.

The shower does wonders, warming my body, though it does nothing for the cold that's seeped deep into my bones. I emerge from the bathroom in a set of pajamas I left the last time I crashed at Josh's place. I go off in search of my brother.
- Josh, I ask.
- In the kitchen, he yells. I follow his voice and lean against the doorway when I see him.
- You don't like cooking in your own home, I say.
- Well, you look like you need a good home-cooked meal right now, he says. He takes one look at my face and steers me towards the couch in the living room.

- Hey, I laugh.
- Sit here and wait, he says. The cushions feel great. I want to sink into them, but I stay sitting up despite my exhaustion.
- I can help, I say.
- Nope. Just sit back and relax. Let your big brother do what he's good at, he says.
- Making wise cracks, I ask. Josh laughs. He bops me on the head, and returns to the boiling pot.
- So tired, I say in my head. I give into temptations and curl up on the couch, pillowing my head with my arms. I watch Josh mindlessly as he busily goes about the kitchen.
- More pepper, or less pepper, he asks. He calls out to me in between humming some song under his breath.
- Surprise me, I say. I smile as he considers this with a serious nod. He starts humming again.
- He definitely gets that from mom, I say in my head. When she had time to cook, she also sang softly to herself, while fitting around here or there in the kitchen.
- I could really use her advice right about now, I say in my head. Josh doesn't ask any questions, doesn't push anything.
- But he's always been good at that. Knowing when to push me and when to let it rest, I say in my head. I think back on everything that's happened. Hydra, Hercules, the stolen Auras..
- How is this my life, I ask. Hydra just left me there in the middle of the streets.
- And what. Does he expect me to just drop everything, I say in my head. We've been through so much in just a few days.
- Has it really only been that long, I ask.
- That long since what, Josh asks. I laugh quietly pressing fingers against my temple.
- Since the most stubborn person ever crashed into my life, I say. Josh pauses for a moment.
- I know there are some things you can't say, but if keeping it inside isn't helping you, little sis. Then you have to let it out or it will drive you crazy, he says. He gives me a reassuring smile, the one that always made me feel safe when we were growing up. Even now, I feel like nothing bad can touch me at this moment. And just like that, everything comes pouring out. From my first meeting with Hydra to the complicated case I ended up with in the middle of, to being ditched by Hydra because of my indecision. By the time I'm done spilling my heart out, I feel more drained than before.
- It's dangerous and everything can fall apart so easily, I say. Josh remains quiet as he joins me in the living room with a bowl of warm soup. I look up at him.
- I just don't know. What would mom do, I ask. He sets the food down on the coffee table and sits beside me. He opens one arm to me and I rearrange myself so I'm snuggled against his side.
- You have to follow your heart, Kira. That's how mom lived her whole life, he says.
- But I'm all alone, I say. Josh taps his own heart and I mirror him unconsciously.
- But I'm here. Mom's here. Everyone who loves and  cares for you is here, he says and looks at me warmly.
- Just look into your heart and you'll find you're never truly alone, he says and smiles.

The next morning Josh called Alex to talk about me while I was still sleeping. Before I could freak out, he told me that he set up the meeting to take place in Astoria park. So here I am by myself.
- I can't involve Josh anymore than I already have, I say in my head. There are only a few people in the park this early in the morning so Alex is easy to spot. I approach Alex without him noticing. I try not to fidget as my nerves drive me crazy.
- Come on, feet, move. Just a few more steps, I say in my head. I finish walking up to Alex. My sudden presence seems to disturb his train of thought. He looks up at me in surprise.
- Um, long time no see, I ask as I give a small wave. Then before I know what's happening, Alex pulls me into a tight hug.
- Don't you ever worry me like that again, Alex says
- I'm sorry. It's been a rough couple of days, I say.
- So I heard, Alex says. I return the hug until Alex pulls away first. He looks at me.
- You look exhausted, Alex says.
- Everything about this case is spiraling out of control. It's bigger than anything, I say.
- How so, he asks. I look up at him worriedly.
- I think this goes straight to the top, I say. Alex stays quiet.
- I tried to pull Hydra back, to get him to see, I say as I clench my fists at my side.
- But I feel like I've made a huge mistake, Alex. Like I've betrayed Hydra, I say. I remember how I couldn't answer him the day before, how he pulled away from me then.
- There's just so much to this and I don't know if I'm doing the right thing, I say and look down at the ground.
- Following your heart will never lead you astray, Alex says. He tips my chin up and smiles quietly at me.
- Especially one as good and pure as yours. I smile back hesitantly.
- Will you keep trusting me, I ask.
- I don't plan on stopping now, he says. He pats me on the head.
- I'll do what I can to keep H.E.R.A. off your scent. No harm will come to you, I swear, he says.
- Thank you, I say.
- Just stay safe, Alex says and pulls me in for another hug. I take comfort in knowing that I still have people on my side.

After my uplifting conversation with Alex, I'm back on the streets of Manhattan, planning my next move.
- Josh and Alex told me to keep following my heart, I say in my head. And despite everything, I already know where it will lead me.
- Hydra, I say.
- I need to find him, but he won't be at his hide-put. Too easy, I say in my head. My mind flickers through his friends and allies. Eryn, Nemean, Meg, They're all out of the question. Hydra wouldn't go to them, not with the way their last conversation with him went. Their relationships are currently strained.
- He doesn't have any family like me. All he has is his work, I say in my head.
- His office, I say.

I barge into his office without knocking. I think we're way past the point of social niceties.
- Hydra, I yell. Hydra's head snaps up from where he's seated behind his desk. It hasn't even been a full 24 hours since we parted, but part of me is too thrilled to see him. He takes one look at me and then scoffs.
- Guess my sentiment isn't returned, I say in my head. I push away the prickle of sadness at the thought.
- I should've known you'd find me. You're too stubborn, he says.
- Of course I found you, you bulldeaded jerk, I say. He glares at me.
- What, he asks.
- Wait, this is not how I wanted to start this, I say in my head. Taking a deep breath, I walk further into the room until I'm standing just in front of his desk. He looks back at me coldly. It only makes me straighten my spine.
- I know you said not to come after you, but I had to. Please, let me help you, I say. I can't stop myself from pacing back and forth.
- I want to see this through with you to the very end, I say. I glance at him. His expression hasn't changed but I continue.
- I had doubts, but I was worried. I'm here now. I found you and I'm not going anywhere. I want to help you do the right thing, to get justice for everyone who's been wronged, I say.
- No. You need to go home, he says. His voice is low and hard, leaving no room for argument. I stop pacing and turn towards him, speechless. The atmosphere becomes tense as he stares me down, but I refuse to look away.