LEARNING TO FORGIVE YOU

17.

["If it weren't for me, you would all be burned."]

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"I'm tir." Strand said, noticing Alex standing by the stairs in the wheelhouse of the ship. "Alicia's just trying to help." Alex responded, walking towards the couch in the wheelhouse.

"She's trying to help those who don't matter to us. She's made a mistake we can't afford." Strand said, keeping his eyes on the horizon.

"Everyone here needs to contribute or at the very least not compromise." he added.

"How do I contribute? Why am I here?" Alex asked, confused, plopping down on the couch.

"You mean on this boat or here existentially?" Strand asked, slowing down the engine before finally turning around to face the girl.

"Either." she replied.

"How many times should you have died in the past?" Strand asked, moving to sit beside Alex.

"I don't know, almost every time I used." she answered honestly.

"Were you afraid?" Strand questioned.

Alex wanted to say yes, but she couldn't because deep down she knew she didn't give a shit and enjoyed what she did, until she didn't anymore.

"That's fearlessness. That's focus." Strand said.

"Yeah, but that's just being an addict." Alex replied. "It's not something you put on your resume." she mumbled.

"But what does that fearlessness look like in this world?" Strand asked.

"That has value, Alexandra." he added.

"Don't. Don't call me...that." Alex replied.

"Your mother named you that." Strand said, realizing.

"Yeah, that's what she called me." Alex responded.

Strand chuckled lowly before slightly shaking his head and standing up with a smirk. He tapped Alex's leg before returning to the steering wheel, letting his words marinate in the younger girl's head.

>>>

As everyone gathered around the table, looking at the food and talking to each other, ready to dig in, Chris came out of his room. He walked past the dining table towards the stern. Suddenly, they heard a splash, making everyone rush outside towards the water side.

"Chris!" Nick and Alex yelled, immediately running down the stairs, with Nick diving after the boy. "Nick!" Alex yelled, watching the twenty-year-old swim towards Chris.

She saw the two boys talk before Nick shouted for them to join. "Hey, come on in. The water's fine." he said before diving in.

A couple of seconds later, they saw walkers floating in the water. "Oh, shit. Nick, get out!" she yelled at him as he almost got attacked by one.

"Mom!" he yelled, getting everyone's attention.

"Travis." Madison said, making the curly-haired man look at the water, seeing a dozen walkers in the water by a shipwreck.

Travis and Madison began shouting for them to get out of the water, with Alex joining in, until Nick said that he heard someone and dove back into the water towards the overturned boat. "Shit, Nick!" she yelled before diving after her best friend.

"Alex!" she heard Alicia yell after her before she disappeared under the water.

"Nick, what the fuck are you doing?" she asked as they were both under the boat now.