Sammi and Sue

How many times?

"Samantha?" A nurse was at my side. I was still very groggy. "Samantha,we need you to use the restroom." (word choice you know) I tried to get myself up. I figured I'd walk to the restroom. The nurse helped me sit up on the bed and I stepped down. Too fast I guess. I almost fell over. "We have a chair here for you. Don't walk okay? Sit down. Right here. I'll help you."

"Oh." was all I could say. The nurse helped me up off the bed the second time and helped me over to the chair. The bathroom just happened to be all the way down the hall.

Once I returned from the restroom, the nurse helped me get back into the bed and drifted away again.

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I dreamt of wildflowers and grassy meadows......

Scratch that...

I was completely out. Half awake, half asleep. There was this creepy woman in a red blouse and white pants. Definitely not a nurse. She stood in the corner forever. In fact, she never left. The room felt like it was moving. There were voices I didn't recognize, there was a door right next to me. The walls kept changing shape. Am I floating? I feel like a bubble... A BIG giant bubble! The room I'm in can fly!

"Why am I moving?"

"What did you say?" A faint woman's voice brought me back to reality. A nurse. They ruin everything! I was really enjoying my time as a bubble.. Please don't do that again!

"What?" It's all I could think of to say before I drifted off again.

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"Samantha! Hey." It was my brother. "Whats up?"

I tried to speak but nothing came out. This is really weird, I thought.

"Are you hungry? I brought you a snack." I nodded my head yes. It's all I could do anyway. He threw something long and orange up into the air.

"Is that a hotdog?" I SPOKE! But... Hey. It's an orange beam... Am I standing up?

"What was that?" It was the nurse again. I looked over. I'm definitely laying down.

"Never mind." I could actually think for once. It's an improvement. I wonder what Rollin's going to say when I tell him what I did. He's probably going to be really angry because he got mad at me last time and said all I talk about is suicide and self harm. I told him I was sorry, but I really like him. I don't want him thinking bad of me. I couldn't think anymore, so I dozed off again.

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"Hey girlie! feeling better?" It was my dad. Finally, my parents were here.

"Why didn't you come yesterday?" I was kind of annoyed. I figured my mom didn't want to come because I'm such a disappointment.

"Huh?" My dad sounded a bit confused. I thought he just couldn't hear what I was saying, so I repeated myself.

"Why didn't you come yesterday?"

"What do you mean yesterday? You've only been here a few hours." Really? That seemed like forever. How fast does time go by.

Dad talked a little more, and my brother stood around awkwardly while my mom sat cross legged in a chair looking pissed at the world. I knew she would do that. Horrible person I am. Maybe I should have let myself die. I'd be better off and I wouldn't have to deal with her.

"Oh, Sammi." It was my dad again, "I brought you your hearing aids in case you need them."

"Thanks." I was still very woozy and couldn't figure anything out. Pretty soon my parents left and my dad gave me a hug and said "I love you". My mom just straightened up and kept her pissed look while she walked out of the room. Thanks a lot... Just what I needed. I left my hearing aids on the table and I fell back asleep.

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"Hey, are you hungry? You can order a meal now, It's lunch time." another nurse wan in my room. I 'm constantly being watched.

"Kinda." I wasn't actually really hungry, I never was, but I thought it would be a good idea of I ate something. I knew I hadn't eaten anything yet that day.

What did I order? I don't remember. All I know is that I ate about half of everything then fell back to sleep.

"Are you done with your tray?" A nurse woke me up AGAIN.

"Yeah."

"Okay, I'll just take this for you. Would you like to watch a movie?" She set the tray on the counter by the door. She took the remote and started fluffing through the movies they had.

"Lion King." I saw it and figured I had to watch it again. It's been forever, but as soon as it started I passed out.

I woke up and the nurse was about to turn on another movie.

"Would you like to watch the Boxtrolls?"

"Yeah." As soon as this movie started, I passed out again. I don't remember either of the movies. Pretty soon it was very late. I woke up a countless number of times throughout the night. Each time I woke up, I could only think of Rory. I love him and I miss him so much. I need to talk to him. I also thought of so many sags from different bands. The one that most stuck out to me was "Saviour" from Black Veil Brides. I need to find a way to get in touch with each of these bands as soon as I get out. Tomorrow I'm going to ask m dad for my iPod or my computer or something. I hope I can remember. Everything turned into a daze.