Sammi and Sue

Really mom?

"Samantha! You better get out here to do your chores! We didn't buy you all those snacks for nothing." Mom was yelling at me again. I just can't stand her.

"I know, I know! But they're for the party, not just me." I yelled back into the hall. God, I hate this woman.

"You better not be rude to me, I still have fifteen days to take that computer back." She was referring to the new MacBook Air that my dad had bought me for my birthday. Yes, I was totally addicted to it, but I can't help that. It's brand new. Everyone's addicted to new things.

"I'm already coming." I replied, "Please stop yelling at me."

"I'm not the one yelling, you are!"

"But I'm not yelling..." I almost started to cry. I don't understand her, and sometimes she really scares me. I don't know what to do when she gets like this, so I just go with whatever she says.

"Give me your computer and go vacuum the living room right now. Don't forget the big rug in the kitchen either."

"Okay. I'm sorry." I handed her my computer and walked to the closet to get the vacuum out.

"Oh you better be." I heard her mutter under her breath. I just felt like crying. What else could I do? I had been living like this for quite a while. I'd say ever since sixth grade, when I had first been diagnosed with depression. My mom always thinks I can fix it by just being happy, but I figured out that it doesn't work that way. It's not my fault. It's genetic from my biological family. My mom always yells at me, and I can never stand up for myself. I feel like a coward, I guess I am.

After vacuuming I realized it's getting to be about supper time. I found dad in the kitchen. I picked up the box that I saw laying on the Island countertop. Gluten free Spaghetti pasta. Yummy.

"Hey daddy, I've been thinking," I always called him daddy, I love him so much. "Instead of having a big cake for my party, can we get cupcakes instead?"

"Sure, It's your birthday Sammi, You're the one who's going to be eighteen. I wish I were"

"Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!" I looked around the kitchen wondering if I could help him with anything. "Where's the spaghetti sauce?"

He pointed "Right here on the stove" I must have overlooked it. He strained the pasta and dumped in into the sauce while I stirred it.

"SLOPS ON!" he called to my mom and brother who were sitting out on the deck.

"Ewwwww. You make dinner sound so disgusting sometimes."

"That's my job isn't it?" We both started laughing at his little joke. My dad cooks because he used to own a restaurant, plus, my mom would seriously find a way to mess up boiling an egg. She actually HAS put a boiled egg in the microwave before, that was not awesome, plus it smelled horrible for a while.

I went to set the table as dad cleaned up the stove.

As soon as we were all sitting down at the table, we said grace. All I could think about was how much I hate praying and also how NOT hungry I was. Then all of a sudden, mom yelled at me. Again.

"SAMANTHA! Why aren't you eating?!" She was glaring at me angrily with wide eyes.

"Well, I had a snack earlier and I'm not really hungry right now." I lied, I hadn't had a snack earlier, but saying that is better than saying I hadn't eaten yet today. I'm 145 ponds anyway. I'm 5'4" and I'm fat.

"Well, if you don't want to eat or talk with the family, you can go do some more chores. I know the deck needs to be swept off."

"That's not fair, nobody was talking anyway." I argued, but I got up from the table anyway. What else can I do? I'd rather not be round her anyway... She kinda scares me. I decided that instead of doing what she told me to do, I'd take my dog for a walk. She wouldn't care anyway, as long as I was away from her, she'd be fine.

"Sadie! Come here puppy!" I called her from the family room where she was taking a nap on the couch. I hurriedly hooked up her leash before my mom could come out and tell me to get to doing chores. Anyway, I think the house is spotless as it is. I quickly shut the front door and run down the driveway to make sure that my mom doesn't follow me. I call her "mother" for a reason. Mommy and daddy are for love, mom and dad are for, Hey, You're my parents, so what? Mother and father are for, Yes I'll obey everything you say, no questions asked.

As soon as I'm out on the road I slow down a bit, partly because I want to be gone longer, and partly because I know Sadie wouldn't be able to keep up with me.She's a small Yorkie Apso, only about ten months old.

About halfway down the road, before I even got to the trail, I started thinking about my mom... That was a bad idea. I feel like crying so bad, but at least I'm not wearing any makeup today, do it doesn't matter. I walked down the trail and Sadie chased and sniffed at everything, as always. She can be so cute sometimes. I'm going to miss that, I thought. My thoughts were racing around again. I'd honestly rather be dead than standing right here right now. I just need to get away. I walked to the bridge and decided to go sit under it. I hooked sadie up to one of the beams and watched her play in the stream while I sat on a rock and cried. I just can't take this anymore. Nobody really cares about me anyway. I'm just a waste of space. I took out my phone and decided to text Rory, one of my closer friends.

"I'M SORRY" I typed out and hit 'SEND'. A few seconds later I got a text back.

"WHAT ARE YOU SORRY FOR?" I decided to ignore it. I wasn't in the mood to talk anyway. My phone buzzed again.

"SAMMI WHAT DO YOU MEAN? TALK TO ME." I decided to reply this time.

"I CANT TALK, IT'S NOTHING ANYWAY" I just wanted to be left alone. I didn't think he'd answer that fast anyway. I stayed under the bridge until around 9:00. My parents would most likely be in bed around then, and I could grab my computer and my two prescription bottles.

I walked home slowly. When I got home, turns out I was right. Both my parents were in bed, so I grabbed my computer off the counter and went to the medicine cabinet and grabbed both my prescriptions. I also grabbed a water bottle. I pet Sadie goodnight and put her in her cage then went to my room with my things.