Cropped out - an Oscar Piastri x OC fic

Chapter 27- Submerge

Eliana:
The door closes in my face. I'm back a few months ago when we were in a similar situation, the same man shutting a door in my face. How the days have flown. Then, I hated him, now I do for a very different reason. I stare at it, thinking he might open it again, but he doesn't. No noise comes through the closed door, no sign that he's even alive in there. Maybe I imagined all of it?

I turn and walk down the hall to the lift, his voice following me as I go reminding me that this was, in fact, real, 'I cannot deal with you regretting anything more'. What did he mean?

I'm still dwelling on it as I make it to my room two stories down. I swallow the lump in my throat, the memory of what I said to Oscar when we kissed resurfacing, making me regret saying it 'this means nothing'.
I wish I could take them back. Show him that it does mean something. Something I'm not fully certain of yet. I tried. I tried to ask him why. I'm so confused on how he makes me feel, and I'm not used to it. I should know everything. But I don't even know myself.

I open my door, fumbling with the key as my eyes start to glaze with unshed tears. I shut the door, my back sliding down it. When my ass finally hits the floor, my eyes shining with tears, his face, so upset that I was drunk, flashes in my mind. I want to run back and ask him why he cared if I was drunk or not. But I know he won't open his door. I've ruined it.

—
After wallowing on the floor for a bit, I wipe my eyes, convincing myself this is a stupid thing to cry about, then get up and plug my phone in. Walking past my window I see that no one is in the pool. It would be stupid, wouldn't it? But I just want to drown my sorrows, my confusion.

I'm in a bikini and heading down before my brain finally catches up to my feet. It's dark, the midnight sky littered by a scatter of stars. I swallow the lump threatening to rise in my throat, the stars look so much like his lightly freckled face.

I'm led by the blue lights of the pool, reflecting the ripples onto surfaces around it like dancing faeries. I chuck my stuff onto a sun bed and then walk towards the deep end.

I dive in, revelling in the crash of the water as it rushes over my head and past my ears, bubbles obscuring my view. The ringing of my head stops as I stay submerged, swimming underwater to the other side of the pool. I could go further but my lungs scream for oxygen, so I push up off the floor of the pool and break the water. When I resurface, the swell of noise meets my ears again, forcing a sigh from my lips as I gasp for air, lungs cold from the chilly air.

I pull myself out of the pool, placing myself on its side, knees to my chest and chin on my knees. The pool lights shimmer in the droplets cascading down my skin, dripping back into the pool or on the pool-side. The haze of alcohol blocking my senses has dissipated a little, leaving me victim to reality. The reality of my feelings towards Oscar. The reality of being so far away from home. The reality of not having Liv here to hold me and tell me that it's going to be okay. God, I wish she was here. I wish Blake was here, giving me some weird philosophical advice. Just anyone to tell me what to do.

I wish I'd never gone to that club back in January. Wish I'd started off on the right foot with him.  Then this wouldn't be a problem. He would've just been another hot guy that I talked to Liv about. Or maybe we would've been well into something already, rather than this confusing emotional ping pong.

-

I hear footsteps come near me, his breath coming heavy like he's just run from somewhere. I don't look up to check. Don't dare meet his eyes that I can feel on my body. He's probably scrutinising me, look at her, so sorry for herself. All this just because I told her to sober up. God, I'm so pathetic.

"There you are." I don't respond, just nuzzle my chin further into my knees.

"Ana, please. You've got goosebumps, come inside." the tone of his voice, so light and so not what I was expecting, makes silent tears fall down my face.