𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐏𝐨𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐟 𝐄𝐮𝐩𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚

03.

ZINAAYAT

It's two hours now I'm in the shower. Two hours of pain.Is this really Two hours of pain? NO. The pain is in my chest for years and sometimes I felt so suffocated with it. It feels like I can't breathe I can't do anything. Why always me? When I just try to start something new and want to forgot my goddam pain, but just then something happened and I always suffers in it.

When nothing can't happened between us, so why he did showed up? Why god. I don't want to see him because it's gives me pain. There was a time when his presence gives me peace. But now it gives me pain. Both starts with 'P ' but in my fate it's pain only pain. Pain become a part of my life, and sometimes I feel like why the hell I exists?

When I saw him today I really want to ask him why he did that, why he did that to me to my family. I hate him. I hate you Saadman Ahmed. You don't deserve my love. Actually no one deserves me. No one.

I trusted him he broke my trust.Because maybe I'm not trust worthy so he broke it.

After almost like 4 hours I came out from shower. My body numb but did I really felt that? No. I'm only feeling the pain in my chest, heart which is increasing time to time and which is aches like hell. It's feel like someone is from inside piercing my ribcage with sharp blades.

It's you Zinaayat. Look at your self eyes red, bloody red. Hair messed. Tears stained in cheek. Look it's you it was always you. When he betrayed you, you was this and after that incident which happened to you. Maybe I deserve that which happened to me two years ago. Because pain is always been in my faith.

I grabbed my blanket. It's 10pm now. The clock is doing his duity, taking the times way but the pains always remain here- in hearts. And some pains become a nightmare for you which always comes and hunt you. No I'm not talking about what Maan gived me. I'm talking about the worst past of my life. Wait.

Maan?

Did I have the right to say him that?

No.

We followed eachother on Instagram, but he never posted anything about this company. If I'm not wrong he has hardly two post on it. He shares stories sometimes again not related to his Company. I should have checked who he was but again I didn't do that.

Someone is on the door, I can hear door banging sound but my body, brain both have zero energy to face them. I know my mum is worried for me. But how can I face her with his lifeless face of mine? I hate my self I just hate.

-

More like hours I cried then fall asleep. It's 8 in the morning. I'm rapping myself with the blanket. Why won't I? First I did a foolish thing-crying in shower for 4 hours. Then I didn't dried my hair also didn't wear my clothes. Now I'm in fever. I take medicine about a hour ago. Now I felt little fine.