Jungkook's Diary

Session One

What I feel for Taehyung?

사랑

Love.... at first sight.

Cringy? I know it is. But how else can I describe what I have felt for the last seven years?

The first moment I saw him across the field, I was struck by how amazingly beautiful he was. The more I watched, the more captivated I became. He was a God on the field, and me? A mere mortal at his holy feet.

I was starstruck to say the least. When I stood close to him for the first time, my heart stopped. When he smiled, I swear I made a short little trip to heaven and back.

I fell madly in love with the enigma that was Kim Taehyung.

I have never felt anything even remotely close to that ever since.

I did everything in my power to be able to see him again. I trained day and night to be good enough to play but I never saw him again.

I cannot put into words how heartbroken I was to learn that he had moved to Korea after his parents' death. My heart went with him.

Though I met other people, had meaningful connections, I couldn't stop searching for him in everyone I met. Something was always missing, not in them, in me.

It was my heart.

When I finally saw him years later, it felt like all my prayers had been answered. He looked even more beautiful than was humanly possible.

And just like that, I found everything I had been searching for. He brought my heart back with him.

When he kissed me for the first time, I felt my soul leaving my body.

When he touched me, I was his.

He had already claimed my heart long ago, now my soul belonged to him too.

But...

But, I guess it wasn't meant to be.

When I saw the pure hate in his eyes for the first time, I think a part of me died.

I feel so scared to look him in the eyes again. Every time, I have to mentally brace myself before I can meet his gaze, afraid that he would look at me like that again.

Just like he did moments ago, he flinched so hard when I touched him.

I don't think I could ever get used to it.

My heart shies away from the pain.

My soul feels crushed.

So, what does Taehyung make me feel?

He makes me feel like he hates me.

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