You Need Healing. (Helluva Boss X Male Reader)

Before Pilot

Sup fellas, I'm Y/N. You may know me from-

Everyone knows mf, just get on with it.

Alright bro, fine. Anyway I recently od'd while playing Genji on overwatch and now I'm falling for what feels like an eternity. But that ends when my body smacks on a roof and I faceplant in an alleyway.

Y/N: "Ow. Definitely gonna need some healing after that, am I right fellas-"

Take 2:

Y/N: "Ow..."

I sit up and rub my head, feeling shitty before looking around and seeing red skies, broken buildings, prostitutes, crime, people murdering each other. It doesn't take me too long to realize.

Y/N: "Oh. I'm in hell. Nice."

I look around in the alley I fell into and see a mirror, 2 swords, one katana and just a big ass sword, and a message on the wall. It reads:

"Welcome to hell. You did something shitty to get here. Take these swords, you'll need em later."

- Black_ShyGuy

Y/N: "Who the hell is that? Sounds like a 14 year-old who makes stories on Wattpad."

After looking at the swords for a few seconds, I just decide to take them, putting one on my hip and the other on my back, before grabbing the mirror and looking at myself.

Y/N: "Damn. I look kinda cool."

I then walk around hell for a while before wandering into a place with a sign that says: "Welcome To IMP CITY." After wandering a bit more wandering, I come across a TV shop where the display ones are playing a commercial of an imp with a long ahh head and a burn mark on his right eye.

Imp (TV): "Hi there! I'm Blitz, the o is silent, and I'm the founder of I.M.P. Are you a piece of shit who got yourself sent to hell? Or are you an innocent soul who got FUCKED over by someone else?"

The scene cut to a guy talking with the sign "Some guy who hired us!!" pointed at him.

Sinner dude (TV): "After lovingly killing my wife for FUCKING THE DELIVERY MAN, you can imagine my surprise when I wound up here after the state of Ohio killed me. I really wish I could stick it to that YAPPY JOGGER who saw me hiding the body."

The scene cuts back to Blitz.

Blitz (TV): "Well, luckily for you, thanks to our companies special access to the living world, we can help you settle your unfinished business by taking out anyone who screwed you over when you were alive!"

Then a jingle plays:

Skip to 0:35 for the actual jingle

After watching that commercial, Y/N stands there quietly for a second before shrugging.

Y/N: "Fuck it. I'm gonna go apply."

I dash, wall-climb and double jump my way to the building address. Once I make it there, I climb up the wall and dash through one of the windows, seeing the Imp in the commercial (Blitz), 2 other short imps, and a hellhound girl.

Blitz:

Moxxie & Millie:

Loona:

Blitz: "...Who the fuck are you?"

Y/N: "This is I.M.P, right?"

Blitz: "Yeah? Are you a client, or?"

Y/N: "Nope, lookin for a job. Can I get one?"

Blitz: "Sure, I don't care."

Y/N: "Nice."

I walk over and sit down about 2 chairs away from the hellhound girl.

White-haired imp: "Wait, sir, are you not gonna interview him? What if he's not fit for the job?"

Blitzø: "Shut up, Moxxie. Anyway, I'm Blitzø, the o is silent."

Moxxie: "I'm Moxxie."

Black-haired imp: "I'm Millie! Nice to meet ya!"

The hellhound girl just scrolls on her phone.

Blitzø: "That's my daughter Loona."

Loona: "Only on paper."

Y/N: "I'm Y/N. Nice to meet all of you. So uh... what's goin on here, is this a meeting or?"

Blitz: "Yup."

The pilot will kick off right after this line. Will I make the pilot today? Who knows?

Anyway, bye fellas.