Hate Face

Chapter 6 - Micah & Sam

Micah

"Lorenzo, why are you doing this to me?" I ask him, my body shaking, and my legs locking up.

I can't move. I can't turn and look away. My eyes are locked on his bloodshot and filled with tears.

"Because I don't fucking love you. I'm not even fucking gay! I just felt bad for you at how much you PINED for me!"

He doesn't mean it. He couldn't mean that. Does he?

The sheer force of the words alone made my body shake more vigorously than the previous minutes before this argument started. And they're all fucking watching.

"B- B- But you told me on the phone that you loved me, why would you s- s- say that, and not mean it?"

"It was so you could stop saying it, and so you would stop apologizing for what Gage did to me." He stands tall, but his lips are quivering, and he can't even focus on me. The crowd of people are murmuring and whispering.

"I'm sor-

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU DID THIS!"

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SHIT!!

I gasp for air, as I sit up arms out reaching for something that was never there.

No, no, no. The dreams were supposed to be over a long fucking time ago. I thought the sessions helped me in California. Dr. Wong said I was doing better, I believed him, what the fuck is wrong with me.

My parents made me agree to the therapy sessions when we moved to California, and they helped a lot. Or so I thought. I wasn't open to it at first, I didn't believe therapy worked, I felt it was for rich people to talk about their unrealistic rich people problems. The first five sessions I didn't talk. I was too angry to do so, and didn't know what to say or even where to start. The best thing about Dr. Wong was that he was patient, it wasn't my plan to have a male therapist, and for stupid reasons my father wasn't too keen on it either. "What if he does things with him" he said when they offered me the list of available therapists. Talia on the other hand was so openly supportive she only chose the hot looking doctors. I worry about her taste in men in the future. The thing about Dr. Wong was that he never forced anything out of me, so when I started to talk to him about Gage, he listened to me and helped through all of it.

I take a few more moments to let the remnants of the dream clear out of my head. I was grateful that it didn't last any longer than it did when they first happened. My mother knew everything about Me and Gage, so she made sure I got the help I needed. I had contemplated so many times if I should tell my father about Lorenzo, but in the end it wouldn't be worth it. Especially, if I wanted to come back and finish what Gage started in freshman year. At first I thought I wanted to get Lorenzo back, but after over, about I don't know, a hundred attempts at calling him and getting no answer. I knew then that my first love was gone forever.

I got up from the floor, realizing just how bad the dream was, and headed straight for the bathroom. I started up the shower, swiping my hand through the stream making sure it wasn't too hot. I take off my shirt and briefs, and step in the shower. I badly wanted to forget the image of Lorenzo screaming, but all I could think about was his big soft lips searing mine with the heat he would leave whenever they touched mine. Fuck. I miss that heat. There was never a day he came to school that he looked bad, except that one day. A smile grows on my face at the thought; he was sick, and I never believed Mom when she would say that men act like bigger babies than women when they're sick. Weirdly enough, I don't get sick often, even when I do, it's never more than a runny nose. But the day Lorenzo was sick he had on his biggest hoodie, some anime character was printed on the front. The hoodie wasn't much bigger on him, but I wore it once and man it swallowed me whole, but it smelled soo good. He still managed to wear jeans, and vans. We met in our usual meeting spot. It was nothing more than a hallway that was away from the main part of the school. I went to give him a hug and he fell into my arms, almost making me fall. He was a pretty heavy guy back then. I enjoyed that day so much, that's where it all started.