Scars of the past|2min

Another Day

Listen to another Day by Straykids 😉

The sun arose, as it slipped throughout the curtains hitting on the younger's face as he stirred awake, looking around at the not so familiar ceiling with a foggy mind and a bad hangover from last night's alcohol induced haze. He looked around quickly to explore who he slept with according to his current status, naked but clean.. as he cautiously looked beside him he recognised whose room this was, and who the person laying next to him was, guilt washing over him, he fucked up bad this time...

Slowly, he sat up on the bed gripping his soft black hair tightly in an attempt to recall previous night's events but to no avail, the boy could only recall seeing his ex kissing his bride, then him getting drunk and walking in the dark alleyways without a clear destination, but after that everything seemed blurry, he doesn't remember how he ended up in his best friend's bed, Minho's bed.

But one thing for sure is that, he slept with his best friend, the one and only person he trusts and has known since they were children, he messed their friendship up just for someone unworthy and pathetic.. He knows he went to him searching for solace in his arms, for pleasure to wash his pain away.. but he really knows too, that he went to the wrong person.

And now in the harsh light of day, reality of what he had done hit him like a freight train. He had used Minho, taken advantage of his kindness in a moment of weakness. And for what? For trying to escape from his own pain? Only to cause pain for the most precious person to him?

Seungmin pushed back the covers and slowly dragged his feet to the bathroom, sitting on the cold floor as he recalled what he had done, trying to squeeze his mind maybe that way he'll find a solution but really, he has nothing to do other than apologising like a pathetic for using Minho that way. He washed his face with the cold water in an attempt to wake up his stupid mind, to freshen up and look at least presentable, preparing for the awkward conversation he knew is coming his way sooner or later.

Seungmin got out seeing the bed empty, he walked towards the kitchen as he saw Minho standing with a cup of coffe, leaning against the kitchen counter as he sipped from the cup. The dancer dragged his gaze towards seungmin's figure which just entered from the door silently, his expression a mix of concern and understanding.

"Good morning" the older greeted, a soft smile creeping its way on his face as he continued "how are you feeling?"

Seungmin sighed deeply hearing the calmness in Minho's voice feeling the heavy weight on his shoulders heavier, he wanted Minho to be at least angry at him for using him last night "i..i'm sorry" the boy murmured his pupils facing the ground lowering his head in shame as he continued "i'm sorry for last night.. i shouldn't have done what i did" he said, and he would really understand if Minho still felt uneasy about the whole situation.

Minho's expressions softened upon seeing the boy washed in guilt, he didn't want to add on the weight the younger was already carrying, he crossed the room to stand in front of seungmin, grabbing his face to make him look at him, caressing his cheeks softly "hey, look at me.. it's okay" he reassured him which only made seungmin feel guilt eat him alive, why should leeknow be this kind and sweet towards him after what he'd done? "You were hurting seungminnie, i get it and i'm here for you, yesterday what i did was with my full consent and right mind.. i wanted to be here for you even if it was in this wrong way, i'd be glad to help you no matter what"

Tears pricked at the corners of seungmin's eyes as he met Minho's gaze "i know what i've done was wrong.. how can you be this kind hyung...Thank you" he whispered the last words, his voice thick with emotions "thank you for always being here for me, i really don't know what i could've done without you in my life" seungmin was not usually so expressive, but in this situation all he wanted was to make sure minho knows how much he appreciates him, and how guilty he felt for using him to his own pleasure.

The older rubbed his back and pulled him into a hug, and surprisingly to seungmin this conversation wasn't awkward like he thought it would be, In fact it was way more comforting for him.

And as the day passed, seungmin going through his daily routine of work and eating, distracting himself by work that wasn't much of a help, he ended up in his house this time gulping this liquid in another failed attempt to try and get drunk to fall asleep, but things didn't seem to be going his way again unfortunately, as he found himself on the floor sobbing again, punching the wall next to him.

Slowly his strength has collapsed, his feets were tired and couldn't hold him up but nevertheless he again, found himself on the same dark creepy street, the same alleyway from yesterday, letting his legs guide him wherever they wanted, as he finally ended up in front of that dark apartment of the one and only, Lee Minho.

Knocking on the door, the boy yet again found himself earning for his touch, for the same feeling of yesterday to get back, he needs him so bad that it's unhealthy at this point. He couldn't wait as he counted the seconds until finally the door swung open revealing a sleepy minho in the doorframe.

Without any second thought or waiting, and without giving the boy a moment to comprehend what is even happening, seungmin threw himself on the older attaching their lips in a messy and needy kiss, harshly going to bite on his neck "please.. just today hyung, i want you to fuck me senseless until i can't feel anything around me, please fuck me hard until i forget that toxic Motherfucker, Dohyun"seungmin said and rushed inside biting on minho's lips, leeknow managed to close the front door with his hand as seungmin guided him to the couch never breaking their kiss.

And just like yesterday, minho let him get what he wanted just to make him feel better even if it was by seungmin using him to get over all that. But again, the boy was sitting on the couch after seungmin drifted off to sleep, overthinking the past 2 days' events.. He knows really well what both him and seungmin are doing was wrong, but as much as he wants to stop the younger from what he's doing.. he also doesn't want to be the person to break the younger even more, he wanted to help him get out of that dark hole Dohyun has put and left him inside 2 days ago.. he has decided to keep his and seungmin's relationship as friends with benefits just for the sake of Seungmin, now of course this was crossing the limits and minho knows that but he himself, he knows this situation more than anyone because he's been in seungmin's shoes before, he got cheated on from his girlfriend 5 years ago although the girl didn't say anything hurting or get married the next day.. But she went to him and openly said she loves another man, he also was seeking to just screw around in bars and getting drunk each day back then.

Days had passed by now, a week.. and seungmin found it a new habit for him, a toxic one should he mention.. him going to the older seeking for his touches and using him to forget. He knew it was a selfish move but he couldn't find any other way that made him feel better, that made him feel like he's escaping the bitter reality.. forgetting about Dohyun and the fucking marriage.

And today, he even went to Minho while being sober and fully aware of his actions. Being dragged to that specific morning when all the bad moments started to pour over his head like heavy rain, he had promised Leeknow he'd stop drinking, but it's hard for him.. he had drunk just so he could forget all these feelings although it didn't help, but rather made his situation even worse...

"Hyung..." seungmin uttered as he faced the floor with shame "please fuck me senseless like you did all this week.. please make me forget" Seungmin pleaded and Minho grabbed him inside the house as he kissed him softly and rubbed his back.

But suddenly Seungmin broke into a mess of sobs and cries "i'm sorry i.. i can't find any other way to escape reality hyung.. it's suffocating me i just wanna disappear into a deep hole and never come back out, the least thing i wanted to happen was for me to hurt you like that.. i know i'm being selfish b-" Seungmin got cut off when Minho's soft plump lips landed on his in a soft reassuring manner, as a way to calm the singer down a bit "i want you to do that, i'm giving you permission seungmo, i want this and you need it" Minho said softly smiling at him although concern took over him in this past week while thinking about the younger's mental health status, he was slowly falling apart in front of his eyes and he can't do nothing other than offering his body to his poor broken friend.

To be continued~