How You Left Me

four

The person I saw at the pier, I know he will find me.

He always had a knack for doing that—showing up when I least fucking expected it.

We've got three more days left in New Jersey and somehow I'm supposed to put this in the back of my mind.

"Is Aspen on board with making our wedding cake?" Sebastian asks me from across the cafe table as he sips his espresso shot.

My lip twitches at the question. In California, Aspen started working at a local bakery, making cakes and all kinds of treats. It was a form of therapy for her, and she loved it so much, she opened her own very successful bakery.

"I haven't had a chance to ask her yet, but I'm sure she'll say yes."

Sebastian nods while his eyes meet mine for a fleeting moment, searching them for something. Maybe it was the weight of our conversation earlier, maybe it was both of us realizing the same thing at the same time.

My hand clenches around the iced latte I ordered, putting dents in the plastic cup. I don't even realize I'm doing it until Seb places his long fingers on my wrist.

"Seriously, Orion. Something is bothering you," he says with a low voice," and its not your parents or being back in New Jersey."

My eyelids flutter shut and squeeze together tightly. How can he read me so well?

"There is nothing," I mutter to him while my hand releases from the plastic.

"Don't use your coffee as a stress ball, then," he says calmly as his thumb caresses my skin.

I watch him do this, so many feelings bubbling up inside of me. I undoubtedly love him—if I didn't, I wouldn't be here.

"I love you," I whisper as my voice cracks, the words coming out crooked but it doesn't matter. The look on Sebastian's face is bright enough to light up the entire room. He's never look so relieved before.

"You really thought I didn't?" I ask carefully and quietly as to not upset him again.

"I really didn't know... what was going on in your head," he admits earnestly, grabbing both of my hands.

I'm quiet for a moment as I think of the right words to say. Truthfully, I'm not even sure what's going on in my head right now.

"Maybe, I think, I need to just spend today outside on the beach or something," I tell Seb, lacing our fingers together.

"Of course, I don't mind. I have a ton of work to catch up on."

Sebastian smiles softly, his expression piercing right through my heart. I lean forward and kiss the back of each of his hands, guilt coursing through my veins. I should just man the fuck up and say something—anything.

"I'll take your leftovers to the room, then," he says as he grabs the two plastic containers that hold the rest of our lunches. I watch him stand up, the fabric of his clothes wrinkling from sitting.

"Okay, thank you. I'll be back soon," I say with a bit of a sigh, "hopefully I can process, well, everything."

Sebastian gives me a sympathetic look before he kisses the top of my head. I watch as he walks out of the restaurant, past the windows, and towards our hotel.

"Wow," I mutter to myself, stirring my straw around my latte. When did everything go so wrong? My head lands in my hand that's propped on the table by my elbow. It's not like I've never told Seb I loved him, I've said it a lot. But lately, I suppose, I haven't.

The other reality is that I'm going to have to leave this restaurant eventually. The entire walk here I was so paranoid, checking over my shoulder every few seconds.