How You Left Me

eight

As I sit next to Axel, I realize all we've done so far is argue. But that's fair, considering it's only been a few days and I've potentially hurt him beyond repair.

"Tell me about your life now," I ask, the champagne finally making its way to my head.

Before we started drinking, we made a toast. A sloppy, fizzy toast that got champagne all over our hands and arms (and my shoe). A toast to new beginnings and living in the moment and whatever else the fuck they say.

We're sitting in the grass with our backs against the fence, the bottle leaning on my thigh. Every now and then Axel grabs it to take a swig, putting it back exactly where it was. Each time, I can't help but study his hands and arms, tattoos scattered from his fingernails up to the sleeve of his black t-shirt. Not too many; just enough to make you look.

"My life," he finally repeats with a sigh. It feels like that's a sign that maybe things haven't been great for him, or maybe it's just a universal way to answer when someone asks. Life is overwhelming.

"I'm exactly how you left me," he adds, leaning his head back against the fence. After a few moments, he turns and looks at me, taking me in with one glance. "Would you believe me if I tell you this?"

Matching his movement, my head moves so I can meet his eyes. The darkness hugs us, but even so, I can see him clearly. The moon and stars hanging high above our heads is clear and calm while spring peepers make noise in the distance. A chill washes over me at his words.

"Yes, what is it?" I ask, bringing my arms across my chest to tame the goosebumps.

"I'm going to be a doctor," he says, the words falling from his teeth so confidently I don't believe him right away.

"You're going to be a what?"

He isn't how I left him at all.

Axel's lips twist into a grin and he chuckles quietly, shaking his head. "It's fucking true. I'm in medical school right now. Two more years and then a residency and I'm set. Right now I'm interning at an urgent care for the summer, but before that I was at the hospital inbetween all the other lectures and shit. Graduated my bachelor's a year early, too."

My eyes look up to the sky, trying to make sense of what I'm hearing. Axel, a doctor? I guess it all adds up. He was always very smart, something that you wouldn't guess from his exterior.

In high school, he was always black and blue somewhere, whether it be his limbs or his face. He looked like the kid who participated in neighborhood brawls every night. He was tough, but didn't hesitate to tutor me on all things science and math.

"You have a lot of free time then," I say, somewhat jokingly, looking at him. "To be sitting here with me tonight."

He shrugs, grabbing the champagne bottle as he takes a long swig. "I pick and choose."

There's a beat of silence. I mentally debate telling him about my life lately, because ever since I've moved in with Sebastian it hasn't really been my life at all. Seb cooks, cleans, takes care of the bills and house. I tag along with him like we're a complete package deal.

"I'm not doing much," I finally admit, "I work for my sister part time. I've become really good at decorating cookies and cakes. I'll have to show you one time," I say.

And Sebastian owns his own company, so he's the main breadwinner, I think to myself. He also does everything else you could fucking think of.

The bottle leans back against my leg and I watch Axel's hand slip away from its neck. When I look at him, he's staring at me, something familiar and intense in his eyes.