Ever After (ONC 2024)

Chapter 15 - Gravity is a B-Word

It felt like Arthur's stomach was in his throat and he stretched out his hands in front of him in a desperate attempt to grab onto something. Anything would do. He was dimly aware of his feet floating straight out behind him and he could hear Hamlet screaming from what sounded like an incredibly long distance away.

They said your life flashed before your eyes when you were about to die, but Arthur instead found himself thinking about strange things, like the fact that this was probably the closest he would ever get to flying. Somehow he always imagined it would be a lot more fun than this.

Arthur could see the giant directly below him, tumbling head over heel as he fell through the air. At least he isn't trying to eat me, Arthur thought. I wonder which is a worse way to die, splattering on the ground or getting eaten by a giant?

There was a sickening thudding sound as the giant's fall came to a sudden and immediate halt. Arthur's fall was broken seconds later when he crashed right into the giant's tummy, which was fortunately big and soft like an oversized cushion. Hamlet and Pinocchio slammed down nearby. They bounced a couple of times before coming to a complete rest. And then huge slabs of broken rock started raining down as the castle crumbled to pieces upon impact with the ground.

Arthur suffered some cuts and bruises as the debris pelted him, but he avoided getting smashed by any of the larger chunks. He saw a softball sized rock bounce off of Pinocchio's head as the puppet attempted to stand up.

"Are you guys all right?" he called out to them.

"Yeah," Pinocchio said. "Once again, it's not so bad not being a real boy."

"Ugh," Hamlet groaned as he sat up. "I don't think adventuring is for me. I think I'll accept that job in the stables now."

"What about the giant?" Arthur asked.

"I'm pretty sure he's dead," Pinocchio said. "He took the brunt of the impact from the fall. Not to mention it looks like his head's been caved in by one of the collapsed towers."

"Yeah, there's no motion in his tummy here either," Arthur said. "I don't think he's breathing. I think we might have just escaped from an impossible situation!"

"You're right," Hamlet said. "Maybe I'm invincible. In fact, maybe I should just go up to the Big Bad Wolf and punch him in the nose. I mean I pretty much just killed a giant and he can't be as tough as that."

"So you're not going to work in the stables after all?" Arthur asked.

"Oh no," Hamlet shook his head. "I'm still going to accept Prince Charming's offer. I bet he's got some really good chefs on his staff and I'll be getting some good eating. Plus, they probably feed their horses really well. I could pilfer some of their food, too. You know, just to supplement. Did I mention I really like food?"

"You don't say," Arthur said. "Come on, let's get off of this giant and get out of here."

The body was big enough that there was still a decent drop to the ground underneath it. A couple more lies from Pinocchio made his nose long enough for them to get down and then the puppet simply jumped off again.

There was wreckage everywhere around them. Piles of rock and pieces of furniture were strewn across the ground. Arthur also felt some small satisfaction when he spotted the singing harp smashed to pieces underneath a boulder. Nothing was left structurally of the castle and Arthur could see the wide open sky overhead.

"Hello?" a voice called out from somewhere to their left. "Is anybody alive down there?"

"We are!" Hamlet shouted and started waving his arms over his head.

Arthur saw some figures approaching through a cloud of dust. Prince Charming emerged flanked by several of his guards. "What in the name of my fairy godmother happened? This castle almost flattened my castle!"

"It's a long story," Arthur said. "The important thing is I've fetched your golden gauntlet. Now you can break the enchantment on me and send me home!" He peeled the gauntlet off his hand and offered it up to the prince.

Prince Charming accepted it and studied it closely. "I'm afraid this has been damaged. See this little dent here by the wrist? I'm terribly sorry, but there's no way I'm going to be able to break your spell."

"So that's it?" Arthur cried. "I'm just stuck here? I have to dwell in fairy tale land not so happily ever after?"

"Seems that way," Prince Charming said. "If you want I can hook you up with a job in the stables."

"Oh boy!" Hamlet shouted. "We can be working buddies! Forever and ever!"

"This is a nightmare!" Arthur buried his face in his palms.

"How did you come to fall under the effects of this enchantment anyway?" Prince Charming asked.

"I made a stupid wish on a stupid star and a stupid fairy granted it," Arthur kicked a rock on the ground.

"You mean you wished upon a star?" Prince Charming said. "Why didn't you say so in the first place? All you have to do is wish on the star again. After all, the fairy has to grant wishes."

"Are you freaking kidding me?" Arthur asked. "Why didn't anybody tell me that?"

"I didn't know that," Hamlet said.

"Me neither," Pinocchio said. "You think maybe I could wish on the same star and become a real boy?"

"Could be," Prince Charming shrugged. "Stranger things have happened."

"Look!" Hamlet pointed towards the sky. "The sun is setting and some stars are coming out. And ooh! That one is super bright!"

Arthur looked up and saw a brilliantly twinkling star appearing just over the horizon. "That's it! That's the star I wished upon!"

"I wish I was a real boy!" Pinocchio shouted.

"Granted," a woman's voice said from behind them.

Arthur turned around to see the Blue Fairy as she touched Pinocchio's head with her wand. There was a poof of smoke and suddenly he transformed from a wooden puppet to a flesh and blood boy.

"Oh, wow," Pinocchio said. "I never imagined how awful this would be. I feel all gross and slimy and full of weird fluids and I hurt everywhere. Plus, I can feel myself dying. Um, I don't think I like this. Can you change me back?"

"Done," the Blue Fairy said as she touched Pinocchio with her wand again. There was another poof of smoke and he was back to being his wooden self.

"Can I undo a wish, too?" Arthur asked.

"Certainly," the Blue Fairy said. "You can wish for whatever you'd like."

"Really?" Arthur let out a little whistle. "Anything?"

"The only limit is your imagination," the Blue Fairy said.

"In that case, I've got a couple ideas," Arthur smiled.