[ARCHIVE] Phighting shit!!! [fanfics, fluff, smut & more!]

🎟️🌸❤️ 3rd scythehammer

Sooo after all the fun those two had... Including the fact Banhammer took a glorious 34 hour nap (pun) afterwards, Scythe had a liiitle problem.

So, you see, when a daddy Banhammer and a mommy Scythe- yk fuck this

Banhammer impregnated Scythe after all this shit. The problem was, Scythe wouldn't just have a normal "human" pregnancy, nah bro, she's half rattlesnake remember?

So a week or two... or four pass by, ans Banhammer decides to check up on the snake lady.

He was greeted by hisses, spits and tail rattling.

"Gee Scythe. You gonna forget all the fun we had together?" He frowned.

Scythe was feral. Banhammer turned on the lights to reveal that Scythe was in a defensive stance, protecting... eggs?! What seemed like a good clutch of 10 eggs, too! No, 15?! Heck there could be more.

Banhammer took a brief moment to process all this.. "Holy shit you layed eggs?! Does that mean I'm a father now?!" Banhammer got emotional and started sobbing. "I'm not ready for this!" Dissapears off into his mother's realm crying: 'MOMMA HELP ME'

Scythe bundled up against her eggs, just like a snake incubating her clutch, making sure they were nice and warm so they'd hatch (cough,,, snakey instincts wont let those eggys go to waste)

Sooner or later Banhammer returned sobbing and a very mad Windforce assisted him. "How did you get yourself in this bullshit, Banny?" His mother scolded him as she pointed at the now sleeping Scythe. "I- I dont know momma!" Banhammer sobbed. "I ain't ready to be a father!" Windforce scoffed. "Well you have to figure this out yourself! You've dragged me into your shit enough times, sonny. You're an adult now. Figure yourself out." Windforce dips.

Scythe opens one eye, glancing at the crying Banhammer. "You got yourself into this." Scythe said, tiredness in her voice.

"Well.. what are we gonna do?" Banhammer stopped sobbing.

"Keep em? I dunno." Scythe went back to sleep

An itsy bitsy month later, the eggs hatch and now you have 15 mini snake kids, all different. You could tell they were a combo of Scythe and Banhammer.

The two were very good parents and raised the kids to be absolute menaces

Also once Banhammer let Scythe out of jail, Scythe would make Medkit babysit the hellspawn- i mean kids and believe me when i say Medkit would rather have Subspace rip his other eye out than babysit thoose kids again.