Again, this chapter starts with me waking up to a strange noise. What do I hear now smh, you ask?
Barking? Ha! Good guess but no..
Meowing? Ooh close.
A pack of P.O.L.A.R. Bears breaking down your front door? Yes! Spot on! Here's a cookie.
Oh. You don't know what that sounds like? Ok let me try to explain in onomotopoeias:
BOOM! little crack BOOM!! little crack BOOM!!! little crack AAAAAHHHH!!!!! MY HINGES!!! BOOM!! little crack BOOM!! RROOOOOOAAAARRR!!! *IMAGINE THIS LIKE THE LION/BEAR ROARS IN MOVIES** (more booms and cracks and my hinges and roaring continues)
Okay you get the picture? Good. So I jump out of bed, brushed my hair my teeth, (hey, I gotta look good when escaping the police) put on some decent clothes. I **insert better more exciting word for ran fast here** to the kitchen. I speedily made cereal and ate it.
With my heart pounding out of it's chest, I drank the milk. Then I washed my bowl and spoon, quicker than the speed of -well the fastest time I washed my bowl and spoon- which is pretty fast.
I grabbed a chair and threw it at a nearby window. Then I notice something horribe. Absolutly TERRIFYING...
My garden. **lightning strikes sound for effext**
I race for the hose and turned on the water. Quickly sprayed the plants as the bears crash through my door. I hear the sound of the blood curddling scream of a dying door. Rest in pieses, door... Rest in pieses. I was already cleaning the patio.
You see, these P.O.L.A.R bears are not the average, big white bear that is good at swimming and lives in the Arctic. No, these are P.O.L.A.R. bears, the Police Of Lazy Ass Rabbits.
You see, they don't just police rabbits but they can't see very well. And there is no reasoning with them. You can't say, 'but I'm not a rabbit.' These bears are fierce, grizzly, and will kill you if your house messy, or if you don't care about your hygiene, or if you are just not taking care of yourself and the home you live in. My poor friend Bobby the salmon was eaten by one last week! Probably because bears eat fish but I'm getting off topic!!
They are slow, so I have some time to straighten up before I make my escape.
It looks like someone reported me, which is the only way they can find anyone. And they know, I am a lazy ass.
