Ever After (ONC 2024)

Chapter 16 - What Happens After

Arthur strolled into the office fifteen minutes late in a t-shirt, shorts, and a pair of flip-flops. Decidedly not work attire.

It was only a matter of seconds before Mr. Crankshaft was in his face screaming. His breath smelled like some unholy combination of onions, stale coffee, and dirty feet. "You're late! That requires punishment! To the Table of Shame with you! And then I've got a mound of paperwork for you to do!"

"Am I late?" Arthur asked. "That's funny. I hadn't noticed. I don't think I'll be going up on the Table of Shame today. I'm not going to be doing that paperwork either. Honestly, I'm just here to pick up a couple of personal things from my desk. My Nana gave me that pencil sharpener and it has sentimental value to me."

Mr. Crankshaft smacked Arthur on the forehead. "How dare you think you can talk back to me! Your insubordinate attitude has been noted and will go on your permanent record! And now I'm doubling your paperwork! Now get on on the Table of Shame before I toss you up there!"

Arthur rubbed his head where he had received the blow. "You really shouldn't have done that."

"Oh yeah?" Mr. Crankshaft sneered. "What are you going to do about it? I'll break you in half, you namby-pamby little mama's boy!"

"Well, for starters, I think I'm going to put you up on the Table of Shame." Arthur snapped his fingers and Mr. Crankshaft suddenly vanished from where he'd been standing and reappeared on top of the table.

"I don't know how you did that," Mr. Crankshaft snarled. "But you're going to regret it."

"No, I don't think I am," Arthur said. "Let's see, I think we should dress you up in something you'd find embarrassing. How about a frilly pink princess gown with some white gloves and a tiara?" He snapped his fingers again and Mr. Crankshaft's business suit disappeared only to be replaced by a long, flowing, sparkly dress.

A crowd of Arthur's co-workers had gathered around the table and started laughing.

"That's the last straw," Mr. Crankshaft sputtered. "Pack up your things! You're fired!"

"You can't fire me, Mr. Crankshaft," Arthur smiled. "I quit."

Mr. Crankshaft let out a snarl and then pulled off one of the shiny pink high-heel shoes he was now wearing as part of his princess outfit. He hurled it at Arthur's head, barely missing by a few inches.

"Once again, you really shouldn't have done that," Arthur said. "But I'm not going to lie. I'm kind of glad you did. You see, I recently got the opportunity to have anything I wished for granted. And I made myself one heck of a wish. You want to know what it was? That's right. I wished for infinite wishes. So now if I want something, all I have to do is wish for it and it comes true. I'm pretty much like a god. So you see, whatever small, miniscule amount of power you used to have over me, well, that's gone. But it seems to me I now have an incredible amount of power over you."

Mr. Crankshaft spit in Arthur's face.

"All right, I'm getting tired of this." Arthur snapped his fingers and the Big Bad Wolf suddenly appeared in the middle of the office. "Sic 'im." He pointed right at his former boss.

The other office workers screamed and attempted to flee in terror as the wolf ripped Mr. Crankshaft to shreds. Blood and chunks of internal organs splattered the office walls as the wolf greedily tore out pieces of him until nothing was left but an unrecognizable smear of mangled viscera and bodily fluids.

Arthur snapped his fingers again and the wolf disappeared. Then he stood on his desk and called out to the panicking office workers, who seemed to be either cowering under their desks or running around like chickens with their heads cut off.

"Listen up everyone! I'm sorry you had to witness that, but you have to admit he got what was coming to him. I used to be kind of bitter at you guys for participating in his cruel punishments. You know, like throwing rotten fruit at me and whatnot. But I've come to realize you were probably afraid of him, like I was. You were scared if you didn't do what he said, he'd do the same thing to you. Living under a tyrant brings the worst out in everybody. We've all suffered under Mr. Crankshaft's iron fist. But the good news is that it ends today. And what's more, I just wished for each and every one of you to have a million dollars in your bank accounts. Go treat yourselves to a spa or a nice vacation and find better jobs than this."

Everyone stared at Arthur with awestruck looks on their faces.

"Go on," he said. "Get out of here. As far as I'm concerned, this office is closed down and you're all officially between jobs."

The office workers started filing out the door, murmuring among themselves. They gave Arthur a wide berth, which suited him fine. He jumped down from his desk and started digging through the drawer, sorting out what he wanted to keep and what he didn't care if he never saw again.

"That was the most incredible thing I've ever seen," a woman's voice said from behind him.

He turned to see the cute intern standing there with her hands clasped beneath her chin. "Oh, hey," Arthur said. "Thanks. It was nothing really."

"What are you going to do now?" the intern asked.

"Well, I've been thinking about that," Arthur said. "There's a mighty big universe out there and I'd like to explore it. And thanks to my infinite wishes, I've got all the time in the world to do so."

He closed the drawer and snapped his fingers again. A flying carpet appeared next to the desk. It hovered a few feet above the floor and a pig sat on top of it.

"Where to now, boss?" Hamlet asked.

"You know I've never been to the Poconos," Arthur said as he hopped onto the carpet. "I really think I'd like to check that out. After that maybe we'll see what's going on in the Andromeda Galaxy."

"Wait!' the intern called out. "Can I come with you?"

"Gee, I don't know," Arthur said. "I seem to remember you laughing at my misfortunes. Still, I'm in a forgiving mood. What's your name, anyway?"

"Gwen," she said as she shook his hand. "Short for Guinevere."

"That seems appropriate," Arthur nodded. "Okay, you can come. And just for the record, I've already wished for eternal life and unbounding happiness for all of us."

"I can feel it," Gwen said. "I just want to laugh and smile and dance with joy."

"Plenty of time for that," Arthur said as he helped her to settle in. "We've got all of eternity to explore all of existence. See, Hamlet? Isn't this way better than working in a bunch of smelly stables?"

"It sure is, boss," Hamlet said. "Now let's go poke a nose!"

"You mean the Poconos," Arthur corrected him.

"Right," Hamlet said as he steered the flying carpet out the nearest window and off into the sky.

And they all lived happily ever after. Literally.