lessons on love- paige bueckers

04: haunting her

paige's POV

zeynep and i hadn't talked since our interaction on saturday morning. i wasn't sure how to reason my kiss, we had just met and I didn't want to scare her or worsen everything between us.

ice decided to go on a little drive to chick- fil -a but I didn't know zeynep's friend natalia was coming with us. Seeing her get in the car without her best friend left me a bit disappointed but I brushed it away. 

ice, kk, and nat were chatting, i was more focused on my phone until their conversation caught my attention.

"zeynep hasn't been feeling well since that party. i don't know what's up with her." nat said with a sigh.

could it be because of me? Nah, no way. it was probably because of fucking andrew.

later that day i received an email from zeynep. a fucking email.

"Hello, I hope you're doing well. I was wondering if you'd be up for a tutoring session tonight since we haven't had one this past week. Thanks!

Sincerely,
Zeynep"

i scrunched my face at the formality of the email. i replied and we agreed to meet at 7pm at the library.

i wasn't sure how the tutoring session would go considering our current situation but there wasn't much i could do.

i got ready and was there early at 6:50 pm. i was planning to sit where we sat last time but there was a couple sitting there, the two girls seemed to be doing anything but studying.

i sat somewhere else and waited for her. then I saw her walk in the door with a tote bag on her arm, her hair was in waves that highlighted the streaks of blondes in her brown hair, she was wearing a pink hoodie with gray sweatpants.

usually she smiled at every given chance but this time she noticed me and just walked towards me. 

"hi." she shortly said.

it wasn't an awkward hi, it was much worse than that, it was a cold hi. 

it was that exact moment that i realized i had really fucked up, and there was nothing i could do about it. 

i said hi back in the most unbothered tone i could get out of myself. then we started studying. zeynep wasn't her usual enthusiastic self. on our last tutoring session, she was very passionate about the one class i despised, she would make some interesting connections between the topic and real life to help me understand better, and of course, she would use her hands and her expressive face that helped me stay focused. 

today she just explained the topics, she didn't necessarily avoid eye contact with me, in fact she made a lot more eye contact.

but despite the warm brown color of her eyes, her gaze was far from warm. 

after about 40 minutes, she told me certain topics to review. she packed all her supplies and got up to leave. as soon as she was about to open her mouth i cut her off. 

"Look, on saturday-" i began talking but she caught me off. 

"Bye Paige." she said with an emphasis on my name as she kept her eyes locked on mine, she then turned around and walked away.

i was left there, a little stunned. this is how she must've felt on saturday...

i was so dumb. 

i got all my shit and left the library, feeling even worse about my actions. i couldn't hold it in anymore. i had to tell someone. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

"... so yeah." i said as i took a deep breath after telling kk, nika, and ice everything that happened. 

"so that's what was up..." ice said as she nodded her head like she was a detective connecting all the dots on who the suspect was.

"in summary, you're fucking dumb!" kk said as she leaned back on her seat. 

"i agree with kk. you are in fact dumb." nika agreed. 

"she was hurt because she fucking liked you, you dumbass!" ice yelled like a mother scolding her child. 

"no she doesn't like me, y'all are tripping." i rolled my eyes. 

"jesus, you are actually dumb, you know what? better for me, i think she's mad pretty. thanks for fucking up and leaving her for me." kk said with a grin. 

"the fuck!" i loudly said as i sat up straight and stared at kk.

"well, now we know for sure that YOU like her." nika said with a smile.  

"that's not fucking funny, i'm just sad to lose a new friend and a good tutor." i reasoned with them, but i knew they would continue to say i liked her. 

"paige, it's important to face your feelings." ice, who was clearly feeling like a mom today said. 

"y'all need to chill on me." i spoke as i got up from my seat.

"you may not like it but you like her." ice loudly chimed from behind me. 

i was so fucked.

a/n: sorry y'all it was my birthday and with the AP exams coming up i wasn't able to write for two days! i apoligize, i will upload more chapters this weekend! please let me know if i should write with capitalized letter or no capitalized letters, i did no capitalized this chapter. i love you guys all. take care <3