lessons on love- paige bueckers

08: hurt by her

songs of the chapter: carmen by lana del rey & black out days by phantogram

zeynep's POV

"it's finally over!" i said to Ava as we walked out of our organic chemistry final. 

ava and i had met this year in another class, now we were organic chemistry warriors together. all jokes aside, organic chemistry wasn't too bad, just a fuck ton of memorization.

"i can't believe it. we have to celebrate tonight." ava said with excitement. 

"i'm sorry, i can't tonight, i have plans with paige." i replied, i felt bad for not being able to hang out with ava but paige had been very busy lately, our last "date" was the ice cream run a 3 weeks ago and i had finally found a day where we could hang out. 

"it's okay, don't worry. celebrate with your girlfriend." ava teased. 

"oh, she hasn't asked me to be her girlfriend yet." i responded, followed by an awkward laugh. 

ava looked a bit shocked and probably felt bad considering she most definitely noticed that i got tense. 

"look, i don't want to make you overthink or doubt anything, but as your friend, i need to warn you." she said. 

"it's okay, you can tell me." i replied, my heart was already beating fast. 

"a 'talking stage' at this age feels a little off, even so, you guys have been talking for a while now. she should've asked you out by now but you guys barely even hang out zeynep. you're the one taking a bunch of difficult classes and doing a ton of extracurriculars yet you're the one chasing her for a date. maybe it's just not meant to be babe." ava gently told as we were walking. 

i knew she didn't mean to hurt me, she was an overprotective friend with a very honest nature. yet her words still felt like a tug at my heart. i had gotten used to paige in a few months and didn't want to lose her. 

"thank you, but i think she's just busy with basketball." i reasoned. 

"they're off season, the most she can have practice is 8 hours a week maximum. whatever you say though. i love you and i'm here for you if you need to vent. bye!" ava said as she hugged me. 

"i love you too, bye!" i replied as i returned her hug and parted ways. 

.·:*¨¨* ≈☆≈ *¨¨*:·.

when i got back to my dorm it was surprisingly quiet as nat would be out with friends till past midnight. i had declined the invitation since i had made plans with paige. i smiled to myself at the thought of hanging out with her.

i checked my phone to see if paige had texted me back but she still hadn't. it was currently 3:30 PM and i decided to use my time to do some intense self care to relax from the stress of the finals.

i put my lana del rey playlist on and started my routine. i took an everything shower and did a very hydrating skincare routine. 

by the time i was done, it was almost 5:30 PM. paige and i had planned to meet an hour later, yet she still hadn't responded. 

ouch. 

 i decided to start getting ready as i wanted to take my time. i started by putting my hair products on giving myself a blowout, once i was done with my hair i put my pink bunny headband on and started doing my makeup. i didn't to a full face of makeup but i took my time with it which definitely made it look way better. 

my phone  was off mute to hear if paige texted me and after a series of disappointments, this finally ping was finally her.

i checked her message which simply said "me too". i had told her about how excited i was for today since we hadn't hung out in a long time and she had just said 'me too'. not even an emoji or an exclamation mark. 

another ouch. 

i texted back telling her i was almost ready and changed my playlist from happy to sad lana. 

after deciding to wear some jeans and a dark green halter top, i was ready. i grabbed a jacket and put my shoes on. i quickly sprayed some perfume and left my dorm. 

i had no clue where i was going or what i was going to do but i just felt like i couldn't breathe well. going outside was my best bet. 

as i was walking, i ran into kk and ice. 

"hi, don't you and paige have a date?" ice asked as she looked at me. 

"like the billionth one in these past 2 weeks." kk added with a teasing grin.

"yeah, we have a date but the first one in over 2 weeks." i said as the smile on my face dropped. 

"oh shit-" kk replied as her eyes went wide. 

"kk calm down, i'm sure paige has an explanation." ice said, but her facial expressions betrayed her, she also looked just as shocked and nervous as kk. 

"um, i'll see you two later." i mumbled and headed towards paige's dorm. 

i opened the messages app as i sped walked to her dorm. i saw her phone was on do not disturb which was the first time i'd ever witnessed her doing it. i typed up a text message, letting her know i was coming to her dorm. i contemplated clicking "notify anyway" but decided not to since i didn't want to be obnoxious.

after a quick 5 minute walk i was in front of her door. i nervously knocked on the door and waited for a response. 

paige opened the door, her expression turning into a shocked one as she saw me. 

before she could say or ask anything, i heard a high pitched sound from the background. 

"paige, who is it?" the high pitched voice yelled. 

 suddenly a girl with platinum blonde hair and green eyes walked towards the door. 

i could physically feel my heart shatter at the sight before me. 

a/n: i updated before it was dark out!!  i'm sorry about the cliffhanger! i will try to write another chapter today if i can. btw, i strongly recommend listening to suggested songs while you read (in order) as they align with the plot, i really try to find songs that express the character's feelings or the current situation. i love y'all <3